


diurnare

by glameowstic



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Autointercourse, Bathing/Washing, Blowjobs, Bondage, Camping, Choking, Daddy Kink, Enemies to Lovers, Face-Fucking, Face-Sitting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Forced Feminization, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Lactation Kink, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Male Lactation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Morning Sex, Nipple Play, Non-Chronological, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Non-Human Genitalia, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sharing Body Heat, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Surprise Kissing, Tentacle Rape, Tentacle Sex, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2018-11-08 12:17:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 21,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11081418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glameowstic/pseuds/glameowstic
Summary: A collection of out-of-order ficlets that take place in the general setup/premise of Ardyn and Prompto finding themselves very far away from Lucis and being 'forced' to work and travel together in order to get back on track. First a nightmare encounter with a malboro, and things only grow stranger from there.





	1. humiliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of these were the result of one word prompts. The plot is there is no plot, just idfic and Promdyn roadtrip shenanigans

"For the record this is not the place I would've have taken you to for our first date." 

Zegnautus Keep would be a far more interesting venue for the little runaway.

"Whatever, you're weird and I'm leaving," the boy snarls with all the resolve and intimidation skills of one of those little purse dogs starlets used to carry around. 

"Go ahead, I won't stop you," Ardyn says, casually inspecting his fingernails. "Though I strongly recommend you stay in the cave. There are all sorts of nasty things lurking out there, you know."

The boy doesn't listen to him, instead choosing to stalk off muttering things about creepy old men and having the worst luck. Children these days. No respect for their elders. This one will learn the hard way.

Ardyn waits. Three minutes. Five minutes. Eleven. Twenty.

Then the screaming begins. Gunshots. More screaming.

He sighs and stands up, taking care to stretch his bad leg. Malboro mating season is a grotesque thing, the poor boy is probably thoroughly violated by now. Still, Ardyn summons Axe of the Conqueror and strides off in the direction where the now panicked wailing is coming from. Gets close enough to where he can see the giant green-purple mass and throws the axe to warp strike and kill it in one blow.

The look of abject terror and shame across the boy's face when Ardyn chops away at the last of the tentacles and pulls him out from the creature's mouth is a delightful sight.

"Now dear I did warn you not to leave the cave," Ardyn tuts, gently admonishing him the way a father would scold a naughty child for misbehaving.

He would have to work fast to heal the boy and remove the creature's eggs. Certain changes happened to humans who came in contact with a malboro's mating secretions, most of them quite fun but not something they could afford to deal with if they were going to survive this little detour together. And he did want the boy to survive for now.

Although he could wait for _some_ changes to take place, especially if it meant getting to keep seeing that red faced teary-eyed look the boy’s wearing. He won’t even look at Ardyn, instead tucking his chin down to his chest to hide from him. He even lets himself be cradled in Ardyn's arms and carried back to the cave.

Goodness he looks gorgeous while miserable though. It couldn't hurt to keep him that way a little longer. Malboro mating venom could take anywhere from 12 hours to three days for it to fully change a victim. The boy will be delirious with arousal soon, his hormones wildly fluctuating to adjust his body to its new role.

They make it back to the cave and Ardyn lays the boy out on the ground.

"Don'....don't tell Noct or the others 'bout this," the boy slurs out while he does so, manages to focus long enough to fix his eyes on Ardyn and give him a tired but determined glare.

"Of course not, you've had such a hard time getting them to take you seriously as it is, wouldn't do for them to know about this unfortunate mishap now would it?"

The boy blinks back mortified tears and turns his head away.

Ardyn tends to the boy's injuries - internal and external - in silence, working diligently and easily brushing away the halfhearted slaps the boy attempts to keep him away and protect his "modesty". Then he leans against the cave's wall to watch and wait for nature to take its course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you'll probably have completely valid questions like how did they even end up in this situation? Where are they? When are they? What's going on elsewhere with all the others? Why all the weird sex shit?
> 
> And my answers to all those questions is ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ (⌐■_■)


	2. bondage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn is very okay with being tied up by young pretty men

"I used to pay quite a lot of money to have people do this to me you know," is all Ardyn says when he wakes up. He doesn't even move or open his eyes, just lies there with his arms tied down to the headboard like it's the most relaxing thing in the world.

"Shut up," Prompto snaps, keeps the gun trained on him. "Tell me what the fuck you did to me or I'll blow your fucking head off."

Because he did _something_. He's hot and aching all over, his body looks different in ways that freak him the hell out with how bizarre, impossible, _vulgar_ some of them are. Like his chest...

Prompto doesn't want to think about his chest or the new but familiar weight there.

Ardyn opens his eyes and tilts his head in a way that's somehow condescending. "I can do one or the other, not both dear."

"Tell me. Now."

"You - against my clear strong warnings, I stress - decided gallivanting around a large swamp filled with a number of dangerous creatures was preferable to my company, and one of those creatures decided you would make a good mate."

Wisps of memories float through his mind. A giant green thing with vines all over, on top of him, inside him. Coating him in sticky secretions. 

Prompto swallows. "And then?"

"And then I, out of the generosity of my heart, rescued you, tended to your wounds and then carried you all the way to this motel where I was enjoying a nap after a very long, very difficult journey. So if this is my thanks...actually I think I'm quite alright with that," Ardyn smirks, glances down at Prompto's crotch. "Especially considering the things you're thinking of doing to me."

"I'm thinking about shooting you in the dick and leaving you here to bleed out," Prompto lies. The ache is getting stronger and his eyes keep roaming over Ardyn's bare chest and arms. He's solidly built, big and broad, but lacks the kind of muscle definition Gladio has. Prompto wants to put his mouth all over him anyway.

"That's right sweetheart, I'm bound and completely at your mercy," Ardyn croons. "Go ahead, do what your body's telling you to do. It's only natural."


	3. bed sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

Prompto wakes up warm and safe and most importantly, _sated_.

Like a raw, primal need of his had met and now there was nothing to do but bask in the glow of it. So he does, relaxes and loses himself in the feeling of the warm breath against his ear and Ardyn's stubble grazing his neck.

Wait.

Prompto sits up fast, horrified that yes it is _Ardyn Izunia_ wrapped around him, yes they are both naked and yes they fucked like two particularly angry behemoths.

He looks around. All across the room are scattered torn clothes and large splinters of wood that used to be the motel bed's headboard.

He starts hyperventilating.

"Wake up. Hey, hey wake the fuck up," he smacks Ardyn until he opens his eyes blearily and props himself up on his elbows. His hair is rumpled even more than usual and oh gods he's covered in scratches and bite marks. 

_You did that to him_ , A traitorous voice whispers in his mind. _Held him down by his throat and took what you wanted_.

It wasn't really him, couldn't have been. The monster had changed his body, surely it could've changed his mind too?

Prompto opens his mouth to speak (or scream, he isn't really sure which sound will come out of him at this point) but Ardyn holds up a hand and cuts him off before he can even start.

"Darling I'm afraid if you wish for me to satisfy you again, I will require at least five more hours of rest and perhaps some hydration as well. The spirit is willing but the flesh simply cannot take any more. You have - I believe the kids these days refer to it as this - _worn me the fuck out_."

Then he dramatically flops down to go back to sleep like everything's fine and they didn't just have really intense, really weird, really _primitive_ sex with one another.

And then it really settles in for Prompto. They fucked. They fucked. They rutted at each other like wild animals. They fucked. He sat on Ardyn's face. Ardyn ate him out. They fucked. The small breasts he had grown were functional. Ardyn had fed from them. They fucked. They **fucked**.

How the fuck is he supposed to explain literally any of this to his friends?

_'Hey guys, what has two thumbs and got raped by a tentacle monster into begging one of our enemies to "put a baby in him"? This guy!'_

Yeah that'd go over well.

"Oh gods I let you fuck me," Prompto whimpers in the silence of the motel room, mortified.

"I assure you dear, I may have been the one inside of you, but if anybody was getting fucked in that situation, it was I," Ardyn responds.

Then yanks Prompto back down to spoon him, nuzzling at his ear in a bizarrely intimate gesture. It makes Prompto's stomach flip in the good way, and that confuses him even more.

"Now be a good boy and go back to sleep. This is the first time I've been able to truly rest in...a very, _very_ long time. I won't have you disturbing it again," Ardyn murmurs against the back of Prompto's neck, kisses him there.


	4. borrowing clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompto needs something to wear

"I'm not wearing your clothes dude," Prompto says while Ardyn digs through a wooden chest (not a suitcase or a duffel bag or even a plastic grocery bag, an actual ornate wooden chest like a loot crate from an RPG) in the trunk of his car, tossing aside various books and scrolls until he comes up with a dusty tunic. Prompto shivers, tries to use his arms to cover the parts of him exposed to the cold air. Which is a losing battle because that's basically all of his body at this point, his clothes are shredded beyond recognition, what little left on him is dangling by literal threads.

Ardyn sighs. "Well it's wear my clothing or be essentially naked for the entire car ride. I have my own preferences of course, but the choice is yours," he says with a leer.

Ugh no okay. Prompto cringes and takes the tunic to shake it out and put it on. Or he intends to. Ardyn is just standing there watching him, and nope.

"Turn around."

Ardyn raises an eyebrow. "I was inside of you not even an hour ago, we're quite a bit past modesty, dear."

Prompto glares until Ardyn raises his hands in acquiescence then folds his arms and dramatically spins on one heel. He waits, to make sure that Ardyn will stay turned around, then quickly yanks off the tattered remains of his vest and pants before pulling the tunic over his head.

"Okay, you can look," he says, sullenly now that he's wearing it.

Because what a tunic is on Ardyn is more like an oversized shapeless dress on Prompto, he's practically swimming in the material. The hem goes past his kneecaps, the sleeves are almost equally as long and one of the shoulders keeps slipping off.

He looks ridiculous. Like a child playing dress-up in his father's clothing.

Ardyn seems to simultaneously agree and disagree. He's smirking at Prompto, but this time it's like he's trying not to laugh instead of that smug _I know something you don't and I won't tell you until it's too late_ grin he usually wears. And at the same time there's a heat in his eyes that Prompto can feel on his skin when he looks him up and down. It makes Prompto's stomach flip and heart beat faster. Makes the ache between his legs come back, the sudden fierceness of it pulsing through him, the base understanding of _need it_ overwhelming him.

"Get in the car," he blurts out, pushes Ardyn toward the backseat before rational thoughts like _you're in the middle of a parking lot_ and _this is Ardyn Izunia_ can catch up with him.


	5. the five senses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn and Prompto make a pit-stop in a little town for some supplies
> 
>  
> 
> It almost goes okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and the next few parts will probably be the most "story" to come out of this...whatever it is I'm doing here

The shop is on the small side, low-lit thanks to heavy curtains along the the windows and candles dotted all around the room (even though it's 10 in the morning), and absolutely reeks of exotic perfumes.

"If that is patchouli I smell I am burning this establishment down to the ground," Ardyn says, wrinkling his nose.

"Gods you are such a drama queen. Just grab what you need to fix me so we can get out of here," Prompto huffs. He's tired and pissed off and still hungry even after eating both his and Ardyn's meals plus seconds. He had thought the changes to his body would be the worst of it, but that "honor" would have to go to the roller-coaster of 'eat fuck kill' that his emotions have turned into as of late.

The sound of beads clacking and tiny bells jingling ring out through the shop and Prompto turns to see a stout older woman come out from the back of the store.

"Good evening sir, how may I be of assistance to you and your..." she trails off, glancing rapidly back and forth between the two of them. Prompto can literally see her trying to work out exactly who he and Ardyn are to each other. Typically they're mistaken for lovers (which is technically correct but the worst kind of correct at the moment in Prompto's opinion), or on one memorable occasion, for father and son (which had resulted in one of their more shameful trysts that Prompto will have to work extra hard to forget once all of this is over). "...Companion today?" She finishes asking, having decided on the least offensive nomenclature.

"Not to worry Iara, I'm reasonably sure I can find what I need. You may go back and finish making overpriced bath bombs and inefficacious curatives for serious diseases, my _companion_ and I will be quite alright."

"Okie dokie, I'll be in the back if you need me dearies," the shopkeeper - Iara apparently - stammers out and hurries away from the two of them.

"FYI it is really creepy when you do that," Prompto says, staring at Ardyn.

"Do what?" Ardyn isn't looking back at him, completely absorbed in comparing two identical bottles of...whatever.

"Say people's names before they tell you them. Like super mega creepy. How do you even do that?"

"Call it a gift," Ardyn says absently, setting one of the bottles down and picking up a vial instead. "Smell this," he says and instead of waiting for Prompto to say yes or ask why, like a normal person would, he shoves the vial straight under his nose.

The most rancid, appalling stench wafts up from it, and Prompto has to cover his mouth and bear down against the sudden lurching his stomach starts up in an attempt to divest itself of three breakfast platters and a bowl of oatmeal all over the floor.

"Well that answers that question," Ardyn says to himself and puts the vial back on the shelf. "This may take a while. I'd ask you to go and stay in the car, but you won't. Either to spite me or out of an impressively short attention span. So instead all I ask of you is that while you explore the town, that you at least _try_ to stay out of trouble. And again, you won't and I will have to come rescue you from whatever horrible thing it is you will somehow manage to get yourself into, _again_. So please, make an attempt."

Prompto sticks his tongue out at him, jolts back in surprise when Ardyn flips him off in response. Again without looking, as he's become completely absorbed in reading the contents of another bottle.

"Jerk," he mutters and exits the smelly shop to go sit in and more importantly _stay in_ the car.

He lasts fifteen minutes.

* * *

The town has a bustling marketplace, lots of loud noise and many different stalls, quite a few of them selling food.

None of which Prompto gets to do more to than smell, because right as he approaches the market square an arm wraps around his throat and drags him into a side alley.

Instinct kicks in and he slams his elbow back into his attacker's stomach and hip tosses him to the ground, dropping all of his weight down with him. He manages to rain two decent hammerfists down in the middle of the man's face before another attacker dressed in black slams into him. He drags Prompto up and throws him into the alley's back wall and aims the world's most telegraphed punch for his diaphragm. Prompto uses that to draw him in the clinch so he can knee him, first in the balls - because fuck these guys all he wanted was a kebab or four - and then another three to his liver.

Another guy grabs him by his hair and yanks him back down to the ground and starts dragging him toward the opposite end of the alley, where an unmarked van's open doors wait. Prompto can see more men clad in black sitting there watching, along with what are probably tourists bound and gagged, wide eyed and frightened. Well at least this doesn't seem to be a personal, rapey thing like last time.

Prompto easily pulls away from the man's grasp to get back up and drag him into a standing guillotine choke so he can break his neck and get this shit over with. Then the first asshole comes back with a bat and slams it in the side of Prompto's head, cutting that short.

Prompto turns his head to glare at the man wielding the bat, whose eyes widen as he slowly backs away. He's right to be freaking out, Prompto's head should be caved in while he convulses on the ground, but instead all he is is really really really really really really **really pissed off**.

"Oh what the fuck..." the man says softly, before Prompto charges him.

In all it takes seven guys and three tranquilizer darts before they manage to throw him in the van bound and gagged with the others.

A pretty excellent attempt at staying out of trouble, he thinks as the the tranqs really start hitting him and everything just goes...sleepy. Definitely worth an A- in his opinion.


	6. frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two hitmen get in way over their heads and Ardyn is the worst murder victim ever

Kai confirms that the others have the girl and they're free to move in and dispose of her dad or boyfriend or whatever. They're instructed to _"be the fuck careful man this little blonde bitch fucked us up, Todd might not make it,"_ and put him down before he can do any damage and go looking for his daughter and/or girlfriend. The big boss didn't want anyone discovering his experiments, and that meant no loose ends.

Nico takes the shop's front, so Rhys enters from the back, gives Iara a nod when she looks up from her work. Her eyes widen, then she mimes zipping her lips and pointedly goes back to stirring what looks like pink goop in a big mixing bowl. He doesn't go into the storefront proper yet, hangs back in front of the tacky bead curtain to get a good look at their target, a tall redhead ( _"it's actually more of a burgundy,"_ Kai, ever the pedant, had clarified) dressed as the world's fanciest hobo.

He's standing in the corner reading a book with the kind of concentration and focus that tells Rhys he won't be moving any time soon, and his back's to the wall, meaning any assault they launch won't be a surprise. Risky, but there's two of them and only one of him, so their odds are still good.

Nico's pretending to shop, picking up and putting down various bottles and knickknacks, casually moving closer to their target. Who doesn't even glance up when Rhys carefully pushes the bead curtain aside (a futile effort, stupid clacky thing) and sneaks over. Just keeps reading his book, occasionally frowning at whatever the words say.

Rhys glances at Nico, who shrugs, flicks out his knife and swiftly moves in to stab the man, gets in under the ribcage and drives the blade into the aorta, quick and easy. 

Without looking the man pulls the knife out from his chest and slashes Nico's throat wide open in one fluid motion. 

Rhys immediately falls back, drawing his gun. The dude's seriously still reading his book, licks a finger and turns the page like he's at a fucking library and not being murdered. Nico's gasping and gurgling through his own blood, trying to stem the flow with his hands. It's like trying to seal a giant crack in a river dam with a wad of chewing gum.

He fires two shots at the spreading dark stain on the stranger's chest, neither of which make the guy even blink. Two more shots do an equal amount of absolutely nothing, so Rhys changes tactics and straight up shoots the man in the head. It goes through clean and blasts the back of it apart to splatter the insides all over the back wall, which would be great for Rhys if this was a normal person but all it seems to do to this...whatever the fuck this thing is - because it's not a human being, instead of brain matter covering the wall it's thick, sticky looking black ooze - is grab its attention because it finally sighs and closes the book. Makes it _disappear what the fuck_ in a bright red flash and looks at Rhys with far too much bored condescension for something missing the majority of its head.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Rhys unloads the rest of the magazine in the person shaped creature's (daemon? Could daemons wear people skin now?) face, which does nothing except turn it into an even scarier warped nightmare, with more of that black gore trickling down from the wounds. The sludge _pulsates_ when it hits the floor, flutters like it’s a living thing and starts trickling its way toward him.

Time to retreat. The creature is still just standing there (judging him too going by the look on what remains of its face) but Rhys ducks and feints anyway, tosses a grenade at its feet then dives over the register counter and through the obnoxious bead curtain for the back. Iara's not there, either gone after the first gunshot or is hiding under the table and too bad for her if she is because the shop blows to hell, taking everyone and everything inside with it.

Everything except the creature, who saunters out of the burning remains of the building to slowly stride toward Rhys, completely intact. It's daylight but that doesn't seem to bother it in the slightest so it's not a daemon then. Just something much, much _worse_.

Rhys makes his way to the SUV and reloads his handgun, then fumbles with his keys to open the back hatch. He keeps a big ass handheld howitzer of fuck you on hand for situations exactly like this. Well...not exactly but close enough that none of the guys are allowed to call him paranoid anymore. If he's even alive for them to keep making fun of him that is.

He loads the big gun up, heaves it out of the trunk in time to see that the creature is now leaning on the hood, chin propped up on one hand. It gives him a little wave. Rhys shoots it again with his handgun on instinct, before reholstering it to step back a safe distance and aim the big one.

"Get some! Get some you motherfucker get soooooooooome!" he howls as the gun whirs to life and lights him the fuck up. They had been ordered to above all, not draw the attention of the public to themselves but that already got thrown out along with the grenade, and more importantly, desperate times called for desperate measures.

He runs out of ammo quickly, and Rhys's stomach sinks when the dust settles.

The truck is absolutely, thoroughly destroyed but the creature appears to be to be totally fine, red glints of light surrounding him.

"Oh come the fuck on," Rhys groans sadly. Really? That didn't do anything? Not even a little bit? 

Not even a little bit. The red lights are shaped like weapons and all of them circle around the creature, who sighs and walks toward Rhys, idly pushing a stray strand of hair from his face.

It strikes Rhys then, that something big is missing from all this. Gunshots and a big explosion should have the cops swarming the place. Pharosia's a small town but the police force is decent sized and active. Not to mention that while Kai and the others would be on their way to the facility by now, Derec and Luis would be around as backup, they would've heard the explosion and come running. 

The air feels weird too, like there’s a current running through it. He looks at the burning building. The flames glow but stay still, instead of flickering and the smoke's there but isn't billowing out. His eyes narrow in and focus on a floating little chunk of rubble, about six away from his nose.

It's as if someone hit the pause button on the whole street.

Meaning nobody was coming to save his ass and Rhys was fucked.

"Yes I'm afraid neither your friends nor the authorities are coming to rescue you, Rhys Palmer," the creature says in a deep sultry voice, dismissing the glowing red lights with a wave of its hand and oh fuck it can talk it can talk and it knows his name and can stop time and gods Rhys is going to die horribly.

He runs. Drops the gun and books it for the market square, weaving through scared people frozen in place. There should be a number of vehicles parked there, he'll steal one and regroup with the others back at the facility and they can figure out how to kill an unkillable monster together.

Said monster suddenly appears right in front of him, a sword in hand angled right at his belly, and Rhys tries to stop but momentum carries him forward anyway and runs him right through it.

Pain lances through his entire body, hot and raw and agonizing.

The creature steps back and makes the sword disappear in another red flash. Rhys collapses to the ground, clutching his stomach, trying to keep his insides...inside.

The creature circles him, walks around looking down at Rhys, mostly in amused pity.

"It would seem that in addition to ruining my only set of clothes," the creature gestures at the giant black stain on his front. "You and your friends have taken someone from me as well. As it turns out, this displeases me far more than I could anticipate or even understand. So you're going to tell me where they've taken him, and I'm not going to burn you alive as a reward," it finishes saying. The look on its face is still schooled in a mask of cool contempt but the eyes are different now, filled with a wild rage. It's more than angry, Rhys realizes. It's _offended_. They took the blonde...boy apparently, and now this thing is upset and hateful and going to _punish_ them for it.

"In the woods," Rhys gasps, because what the hell, he's dying anyway might as well keep it from getting worse. "In the woods there's a research facility. Government. They take people, mainly girls there. I don't know what for..." 

Rhys lifts a hand up to gesture toward the forest's general direction. "Follow the main path until it splits and then go west off trail. Some trees'r marked 'n stuff," he mutters. It's getting harder to get words out or even keep his eyes open.

"Much obliged Rhys Palmer," the creature thanks him with a sweeping but stilted bow, and strolls away, leaving Rhys to bleed out in the middle of the town square.


	7. doctor visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompto wakes up and finds himself in some weird and sexual trouble

Prompto wakes up naked and strapped down to an operating table. He opens his eyes to three faces covered with surgical masks looking down at him and he groans. He's seen a movie exactly like this with Noct and Ignis (Gladio didn't do horror movies, a little fact that delighted Prompto when he learned of it) and just hopes they haven't harvested any important organs yet. 

"Oh good, you're awake. How is your head?" the middle one asks in a voice that's far too cheerful for being a kidnapping, presumably crazy lunatic.

Prompto shrugs. It hurts, but not nearly as much as it would without the malboro venom. Ardyn hadn't been kidding when he said Prompto would be immensely more durable now, in addition to enhanced speed and strength. He had been hit in the head _hard_ and as far as he can tell, at most his injuries are a throbbing headache and what feels like a giant bruise and laceration to his ear.

The man in the middle speaks again. He's short, thin-faced with glassy dark eyes. "My name is Dr. Malion, and you are?"

"Tired and hungry," Prompto answers. "So if you guys could just undo all these straps, give me back my clothes and drop me off at the nearest diner, that'd be awesome."

Dr. Malion chuckles. "I'm afraid that isn't possible, young man. You're just far too valuable of a specimen. Never in all my time working on this project have I seen a human survivor of a malboro mating this intact and functional. You should be dead or at least severely impaired by now."

Prompto frowns. "Project?" 

That doesn't sound good. At all.

"Yes, The Genesis Initiative. Where you Niflheimians have your Magitek Troopers, Accordo will soon have an answer in the form of a new race of super soldiers."

Before Prompto can inform Dr. Malion that he's Lucian, not a Nif, he launches into a lengthy explanation of his "cross-species reproduction theory" that Prompto only half listens to before he realizes it's just a bunch of weird jerk-off fantasies he's somehow convinced the Accordoan government to give him money for to make happen in real life. So instead Prompto tries to estimate how long it's been since they grabbed him. Ardyn has to know he's missing by now at least (and gods he is going to be so insufferable when he gets here, Prompto can already see the smug _I told you_ so look on his face) and assuming he'll be traveling on foot to drag out the rescue, Prompto's looking at anywhere from nine hours to two days before the hobo cavalry arrives. 

"-and that's the basics of it. Any questions? Thoughts?" Dr. Malion finishes, looks at Prompto expectantly.

"You want my thoughts?" Prompto asks, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes."

Prompto starts to laugh. It's weak, he's still a little loopy from the tranquilizers but it gets his point across.

"Dude it just sounds an excuse for you to have in-house live action monster porn to jerk it to. And all on the taxpayers dime. You know the internet is a thing, right?"

Dr. Malion leans back, clearly affronted.

"This is a scientific endeavor-"

"Sure it is buddy." Prompto rolls his eyes. "Any tangible results so far? It's been ten years, you said? You gotta have something by now."

"...We've made significant strides in progress...optimal test subjects are difficult to come by-"

Prompto smirks. "Uh huh. And all of your 'optimal test subjects' just happen to need to be pretty young blonde chicks. For 'science'. Too bad your squad of idiots picked up a dude this time instead. Guess you'll have to just have to take a blood sample and let me go on my way."

He can meet up with Ardyn, free the others and burn down this Bestiality Extravaganza Emporium then go back and get some of those kebabs, maybe a couple meat pies for the road.

Dr. Malion frowns, adjusts his glasses in a way that reminds Prompto of Ignis when he's at his huffiest.

"For your information young man, The Initiative does include men in its quest to bring about the future of the human race. And even if it didn't, judging by your breasts and bizarrely developed genitalia you've been exposed to the mating secretions of a malboro either in utero or at a high enough dosage as an adult to completely remold your adult body's natural form and function. And according to the rest of the preliminary physical examination we conducted, you’re sexually active. Meaning if you aren't already pregnant, you will be very soon."

"Screw you my junk wasn't always like that," Prompto mutters. Sure everything looks a little...different downstairs now, but it’s still his Prompto Junior and she deserves respect damn it. 

Then the full weight of what the doctor says hits him.

"Are you telling me I can actually get pregnant?" He asks slowly, dread creeping in. Ardyn had laid out the changes made to his body, and while it was implied that yeah the whole purpose of the malboro’s sex juice was to make better baby mamas out of their victims, he had never actually said outright that it could happen in Prompto’s case. And Prompto assumed not having the bits required to make babies in the first place made the whole thing moot anyway and hadn't really given it much thought beyond the occasional weird intrusive thought and embarrassing dirty talk his hindbrain liked to come up with nowadays.

"The alternate reproductive system we found during your X-rays is juvenile but entirely functional," Dr. Malion smiles and ugh Prompto can see his pants starting to tent up. "Malboro's reproduce by injecting their venom in a host during intercourse to develop this versatile system in their young's host along various changes geared to improve the host for optimal breeding, while simultaneously depositing and fertilizing their eggs. We've seen similar results in sturdier male specimens like coeurls and behemoths who develop this reproductive system and go on to successfully give birth to both their own and malboro young. With a few surgical modifications you should-"

Prompto isn't listening to the pervert doctor anymore. Because every moment of unprotected sex he's had with Ardyn flashes through his mind like one long (too long dear gods) disturbing erotic montage.

Screw waiting for Ardyn, it's time to go right the fuck now.

The restraints they have him in are a joke, he easily sits up and snaps them off, then swings around and kicks Dr. Malion in the balls so hard he lifts up and smashes face first into the ceiling.

The two assistants try to rush him and get their heads slammed together for their trouble. An armed guard bursts through with an actual gun that shoots bullets instead of tranq darts, but Prompto heaves the entire operating table at him in time and takes the machine gun from the squished remains. Then goes back and grabs the key card hanging from the late doctor's broken neck.

The second door beeps and Prompto walks outside to...an absolute clusterfuck. Dead guards all over the place, the obnoxious sound of a red alert and various howls and screeches of all kinds of freed animals roaming about, along with some frightened naked people running around for cover. Everything seems to have gone to absolute shit on multiple levels, which means Ardyn must be already be here then.

Before he can move to search for him, a coeurl leaps in front of him, growling and drooling with its (horrifying the thing has _barbs_ for fuck's sake) cock out and eyes fixed on Prompto.

 

This roadtrip just keeps getting weirder, Prompto thinks as he lines it up in his sights.


	8. discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompto reunites with Ardyn and has important questions for him that he'd better answer

"Ah there you are Prompto," Ardyn says cheerily when Prompto approaches him. He's busy tugging what looks like a big ornate axe from the head of a sabreclaw. "I've been looking for you. You would not believe the levels of pseudoscientific nonsense-" he says and cuts himself off abruptly.

Probably because Prompto has a gun aimed at his head.

"-Going on in this establishment," he finishes, finally tugging the axe out and letting it clatter to the ground. 

"Can I get pregnant?" Prompto asks, calmly.

Ardyn pauses, just for a millisecond but it's a millisecond too long and Prompto moves his finger to the trigger.

"May I ask why this issue has come up all of a sudden?" Ardyn asks, his eyes flitting back and forth between Prompto's gaze and the window like he's contemplating either jumping out of it himself or throwing Prompto through it.

"No. Answer the question," Prompto snaps.

Ardyn sighs "Prompto dear, I don't think now is the time for-"

Prompto fires two rounds into the ceiling right above Ardyn's head and to his credit Ardyn doesn't even flinch, just blinks when plaster dust sprinkles down to coat his hair.

"This is the last time I'll ask nicely. Can I get pregnant, yes or no?"

"There's a little more to it than that, it's an - oh behind you," he gestures but Prompto's already turned around and taken the guard out with a single shot. He braces himself for Ardyn's take-down but it doesn't do him much good because Ardyn disarms and slams him to the ground hard enough to make Prompto see stars. Gets between Prompto's legs and keeps him pinned on his back, covers his body with his own.

Prompto fights back with all his newfound strength. It does nothing against Ardyn's hold, not a damn thing and that makes Prompto panic. He's strong, but Ardyn is bigger and _stronger_. Something snaps inside Prompto and he lets it all out. Kicks, bites, scratches, spits and screams at Ardyn, rage just boiling out of him at how unfair it is. At how massive and overwhelming Ardyn's presence is, in comparison to him. That even with all his newfound strength to protect him, Ardyn could still so easily impose his will upon Prompto and he would be helpless to stop him. Ardyn could do what he pleased with him and the thought of it thrilled Prompto as much as it repulsed him.

A hard slap across his face cuts through Prompto's fury and stops him cold.

"Are you done?" Ardyn asks, and the way he says it is light and playful, but he's holding Prompto's chin with a grip like iron and a hard, authoritative look in his eyes. Prompto shudders. Now really isn't the time, but his body never seems to get that particular memo these days. It's worse than when he went through puberty, back when stiff breezes and the sight of v-neck shirts were his mortal enemies.

"Yeah," Prompto gasps, big heaving sighs, licking his lips. "Yeah I'm done."

"Good. Because, despite the occasional outburst you've been a very good boy during this little detour. I would hate to have to seriously discipline you," Ardyn says, and his fingers tighten around Prompto's jaw just the tiniest bit tighter. He kisses Prompto on his rapidly reddening cheek, an apology of sorts. Then does that thing where he scents the air around them, like a beast detecting its prey.

Smelling that Prompto's wet and hard and aching once again.

"Although I don't think you would." Ardyn smirks, grinds down. "Is that what you want, dear boy? Me to punish you?"

"Yes," Prompto says immediately, because he does, he wants it. Wants to get choked and slapped and spanked and fucked like a whore.

(Then held, and loved-on and kissed and praised but that's beside the point.)

Except...

"Wait, no," he starts when Ardyn is about to put one of those big hands down the front of his sweatpants, borrowed from an unlucky test subject. 

When it comes to fucking Ardyn, Prompto's had pretty poor impulse control so far. At almost every chance they’ve had to fuck, Prompto’s taken it. Literally. Vigorously. In many different positions. And he had been alright with that, this is a temporary thing between them that would only last until they made it back to Lucis or found a cure to revert Prompto back to normal or Prompto regained control over his sex drive. Whichever one happens first. Because up until now, everything between them has been meaningless risk-free weird but ultra hot sex.

Not anymore apparently.

Prompto takes a deep breath. "We can't keep doing this. Not...not if this is gonna result in mutant egg babies or some other horrible thing I can't find words for. A lot of weird shit has happened to me these past few weeks, I can't take being a single dad too. And no offense, but I don't want you to be my baby daddy," Prompto finishes, and squashes the feeling like he's lying when he says that deep down in the vault of his mind along with all the other confusing thoughts and feelings he keeps in there.

Ardyn rolls his eyes. "Despite the lurid language used during our prior lovemaking sessions, I promise you, I have just as much of an investment in making sure you don't get pregnant as you do. It will not be an issue, you have my word."

Prompto snorts. "First of all I really doubt that, and second, 'lovemaking' implies a crapload more romantic overtones than what's actually going on."

Ardyn lifts an arm to gesture at the chaos around them.

"Is this not the height of romance?" he says with an actual smile that reaches his eyes and everything. Prompto can't help it, he laughs.

"Could use a few more candles, some mood music, y'know."

Ardyn chuckles. "Well the alarms are blaring and something is definitely on fire. We should go, I have a car ready for us outside. Oh and I hope you like kebabs because there was a stall in the marketplace selling them and I bought a lot of them to-go."

* * *

They make the drive back through Pharosia, Prompto happily munching away at his well-deserved snacks, and pass the tacky hippie shop on their way to get back on the main road.

Or what's left of the tacky hippie shop, which is nothing but charred wood and rubble all over the place.

Prompto shifts in his seat to glare at Ardyn.

Ardyn glances at him, then back at the shop, then back at Prompto with the guiltiest look he's ever seen across that handsome face.

"I am not responsible for that," he says, immediately on the defensive. "I'm _not_."

Prompto just keeps glaring at him, chewing a cube of meat and sending all the judgmental vibes his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it for for the end of this little...arc I guess


	9. blasphemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn and Prompto stop at a temple to pay their respects to Leviathan

The statue of Leviathan is small, only a bit taller than Prompto himself, but ornate. Carved malachite with all sorts of loving detail put into the scales and fins.

And Ardyn is pissing all over it.

"What the fuck _what the fuck are you doing_?" Prompto hisses, horrified.

There are only a few people in the temple, dotted all over the large space, with their heads knelt down in prayer. Nobody seems to notice the abject blasphemy going on in front of them so if Prompto can just get Ardyn to stop with his everything, they can get out before anybody notices what he's done and not end up in jail or chased out of the town by an angry pitchfork carrying mob.

"Going to the bathroom," Ardyn - who has apparently lost his fucking mind - says, whistling a little tune. "I meant to go look for a toilet, but there's one right in front of me, so...eh," he shrugs. "Oh don't look at me like that, it's not like the Hydraean is going to slither her way down from Altissia because I'm 'desecrating' her likeness."

"It's not _Leviathan_ I'm worried about," Prompto grits out through his teeth. "It's her followers who are actually here in the flesh and if they decide to come over and see what the strangers are doing to her in effigy, I don't want to get clubbed to death by a bunch of freaking zealots!"

"Actually they prefer to drown heathens here in this region. Theme of water and all that. And as for Leviathan, it's good you're not worried about her because I can tell you right now, you people care far more about the astrals than they ever have for any of you and no amount of pretty trinkets and tributes will ever change that. The Astrals have their little games and we are but mere pieces, some more strategic than others," Ardyn says, tucking himself back in his pants.

Prompto groans. "I don't want to get into a religious debate dude, please let's just go."

Ardyn nods toward the altar ahead of them. "We should fuck on the tableau first, give these people something actually worth their worship."

"Oh yeah, because your dick is _sooo_ great, it’s going to make the masses rebuke their gods," Prompto rolls his eyes. Although to be fair, it _is_ a nice dick, thick and uncircumcised.

Ardyn grins. "I was referring to yours. Though I must point out how you don't seem to have a problem kneeling in reverence for mine, as of late."

"Oh blow me-"

"Gentlemen," a sharp voice from behind them says. 

Prompto doesn't turn around, just looks up at Ardyn instead and glares at him instead.


	10. jealousy I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While staying the night in a caravan, Ardyn and Prompto drink and talk about Prompto's love life.

Prompto is well past drunk when Ardyn's questions turn personal.

"Now, you and your friends...are they just your friends or is there something more to it?"

Prompto sips at the flask. "That's a weird question to ask. Why do you wanna know?"

"Idle curiosity," Ardyn says, waving his hand a little. "And self preservation, I wouldn't want to make it all the way back to Lucian territory only to get my ass kicked by one or more jealous lovers."

"Probably should have asked before you started fucking me then," Prompto points out.

"True," Ardyn concedes. "So, are they?" 

"No way!" Prompto snorts. "Ignis wouldn't lower himself to touch me, not in a million years, and...okay I lost my virginity to Gladio a few years ago but it was like a pity fuck thing on his end. I was drunk and sad and he was drunk and horny and we just...yeah. And he's never brought it up so either he's really embarrassed or I was really terrible but either way I doubt that'll ever be a thing again."

Distantly in the back of his mind, Prompto's sober self is telling him to shut the hell up, but Drunk Prompto is behind the wheel now and Drunk Prompto likes to overshare.

Ardyn raises an eyebrow. "You don't remember your first time well enough to know how it went?"

Prompto pauses. "...I mean I remember _parts_ of it."

Being in Gladio's arms, held down and fucked sore. Waking up in the middle of the night, warm and safe. Then waking up in the morning, cold and alone.

Ardyn hums, in that _I'm judging you mentally, not verbally_ tone, and Prompto flips him off.

"What about the prince?" Ardyn asks, after a few minutes of silence, and Prompto narrows his eyes. There's the rub, the real thing Ardyn wants to know about. Prompto's not that drunk, he'll play along and firmly reassure Ardyn...Chancellor Izunia, that Noct is fully committed to the Lady Lunafreya.

"We kissed once," he blurts out instead. Shit he hadn't meant to do that, maybe he really is that drunk.

"Oh?" Ardyn's eyebrows raise and he grins a little. If Prompto were sober he'd be able to tell that there's no mirth to it, would be able to acknowledge the clench of his jaw, the twitch in his left cheek for what they are.

Prompto flushes. "Yeah. Yeah we were sitting around the campfire just the two of us, talking about...stuff." Getting married, Noct had been confessing his fears. That he wouldn't be a good king, that he wouldn't be a good husband for Luna. How he hated he was being forced to marry a stranger ( _"She is, Prompto,"_ he had said when Prompto protested that. _"I haven't seen her since I was a kid, I don't...I don't know her anymore. And she doesn't know me. Not like you guys. Not like you."_ ) as part of a duty he didn't even want in the first place.

And then he kissed Prompto, insistently until Prompto kissed back, before Ignis had interrupted them. And boy had he had been livid, keeping it in check until Noctis went in the tent then quietly but pointedly reprimanded Prompto, reminding him of his and Noct's duties.

"Do you love him?" Ardyn asks, his voice cutting through Prompto's reminiscing sharply.

"Of course I love him," Prompto says without hesitation. "He's my friend. And my prince...or my king now I guess."

Ardyn leans forward, to look Prompto in the eye and the way he does it makes Prompto feel like his skin is being peeled away, like something is trying to pare down his flesh to get to the bare of his soul.

"But do. You. _Love him_?"

"Why do you even care?" Prompto asks, partly confused and partly trying to avoid the question, he can admit that to himself. "If you're feeling guilty about intruding or whatever, don't. It's not like that-"

Ardyn stands up, abrupt and sudden. Walks toward the bed so he can grab his coat then strides toward the door.

"Uh where do you think you're going?" Prompto asks, baffled.

"Out," Ardyn responds, clipped and clearly pissed off.

"Are you shitting me? It's dark out and the lights around the station aren't that great. You'll get ripped apart-"

"I'll be fine. Stay in the caravan."

"No you won't, look my friends are just my friends, you're not...hey-" Prompto gets up and rushes between Ardyn and the door, tries to push him back and keep him from going outside. Ardyn isn't fazed, just lifts him away and then drags him into the bathroom.

He covers Prompto's face and eyes with one of those large hands and when Prompto shoves it away, Ardyn's holding a pair handcuffs that look more like heavy manacles and goes on and chains him to the radiator in there and leaves.

Prompto hurriedly tugs at the shackles, pulls with all his strength to break the chain between them.

"Ardyn...Ardyn don't go out there it's not safe- ARDYN," he yells, but it's useless. The door slams hard and Ardyn is gone and damn the gods that fucking idiot is going to go out and get himself killed, purely because he's worried about being a homewrecker.

The handcuffs are either too thick and heavy to pull apart, or are magic. Either way Prompto can't break them, so he's going to have to rip the radiator out of the wall which will probably cost Ardyn a fortune to have repaired but it doesn't matter, Prompto needs to get him back here, where it's _safe_ , and calmly explain that there's no infidelity going on (because that must be why he's upset, Prompto tells himself firmly. Just that.) and to chill the fuck out.

After he kicks Ardyn's ass for being so, so painfully _stupid_.


	11. jealousy II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While out for a drink Ardyn and Prompto are discovered by a familiar Niflheimian General who won't stop trying to cozy up to the Chancellor
> 
> Prompto is very unimpressed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I wrote Ardyn being jealous and then the thought of Prompto being jealous wouldn't leave me alone which resulted in this

"Chancellor Izunia!" someone calls out from the crowd and Prompto groans. They've been made. Prompto had told Ardyn stopping in a town right next to a military base was a terrible idea, but noooooo, they just had to stop because _"If I don't get a Cranberry Tonic I am literally going to drive us off a cliff and while we plummet to y- **our** deaths your last thoughts will be 'oh if only I had let dear sweet Ardyn stop for that one little drink.'"_

So here they are about to be captured by Imperial forces because the biggest drama queen in all of Eos got a bit thirsty and didn't want water.

A tall thin guy far too overdressed for the atmosphere of a dive bar makes his way over and Prompto shifts in his seat to get better access to his side holster. It's the blond psycho from Duscae, the one that tried to kill them in a giant mech suit. Prompto isn't sure how the hell he's still alive seeing as they blew him up inside of it, but here he is in front of them, with the world's fakest smile plastered on his face.

"Brigadier-General Tummelt," Ardyn says, much quieter, acknowledging him with a tilt of his head. "Won't you have a seat?" he asks warmly. Prompto's about to object but Ardyn's hand suddenly clamps down on his thigh, squeezes hard once in warning, then pats him softly.

"Oh please sir, call me Loqi," the blond - Loqi, apparently and what a dumb name - says, eagerly sitting down, and scoots forward so he's way up in Ardyn's business.

Prompto immediately dislikes him.

Loqi doesn't seem to recognize Prompto, which is good. Or be aware that Ardyn is wanted by the empire now as well. Also good. 

"It's good to see that Niflheim's best is well," Loqi says and he's fucking batting his eyelashes at Ardyn like some sort of sociopathic baby-doll. "Are you on vacation?"

"We are," Prompto says shortly, answering for Ardyn. Who seems amused by all of this, the bastard.

"Oh. And you are?" Loqi asks, noticing Prompto finally. He's looking Prompto up and down with a haughty, critical eye, and Prompto coolly looks back.

"Danael," Ardyn says, smirking at Prompto. "My lovely assistant and personal guard."

Loqi gives a little judgmental grunt at Prompto in acknowledgement, then proceeds to ignore him for the next half hour, which is filled with obnoxious humble-bragging tales and painfully obvious flirting.

He's busy telling an exaggerated, extremely inaccurate account of what happened in Duscae when Prompto finally gets fed up.

"Mmm, I heard about that," Prompto interrupts, feigning ignorance. "How did that work out for you in the end? I was told that the MA-X Cuirass blew up?" he innocently asks.

Loqi glares at him, and Prompto sips at his mojito through the little straw it came with, fighting to keep the friendly open look on his face from turning into the smug smirk it wants to be. 

"It could have gone better," Loqi says, stiffly. "And...we did lose the Cuirass. But rest assure sir, Niflheim will emerge noble and victorious this time around, I swear upon the glory of the empire."

Gods what a little suck-up.

"This time around? I was unaware that the empire had plans for Accordoan territory this recently. Am I to take it that there will be Imperial activity here soon?" Ardyn asks.

Loqi glances around, like he all of a sudden understands the need for secrecy, then leans - far, far too close - into Ardyn's personal space.

"We're invading," Loqi whispers and he says it so gleefully it makes Prompto sick to his stomach. That his fingers are inching closer to Ardyn's hand has nothing to do with it. "Starting tomorrow, we'll attack the town first, draw out their forces from the base. It's going to be quite the bloodbath."

"I imagine so. And even though I specifically advised Lord Ravus to focus the army's efforts entirely on Lucis instead," Ardyn sighs and downs the rest of his drink. "Because why concentrate all military efforts on our strongest enemy when we could split up our manpower and resources to fight a two-front war instead?"

"Oh I had the same concerns sir!" Loqi exclaims, obviously lying. "But the order actually came from the Emperor himself, I'm a little surprised you don't know-"

"The Chancellor has been busy," Prompto snaps, sets his glass down a little too hard right between Loqi and Ardyn's hands so Loqi has no choice but to pull away or get his fingers crushed. "And like I said, we're on vacation so if you could-"

"Danael," Ardyn interrupts and it takes Prompto a moment to remember he's supposed to respond to that name. "Why don't you go get us another drink?"

It's phrased as a question but clearly isn't, and Prompto grits his teeth but plays along. He takes Ardyn's empty glass, and heads to the bar. Leans against it and watches Ardyn talk his way out of Loqi's (who has given up all pretense of not being a shameless little trollop, sidles in right next to Ardyn the moment Prompto leaves and tries to place a hand on his thigh. Prompto smiles smugly to himself when Ardyn deftly blocks the attempt without even looking) presence, making an excuse to seemingly go to the bathroom, which is just before the bar's back exit.

Prompto should already be by the exit as well, but an idea strikes him and it's too good of an opportunity to give up.

He makes his way over to where Ardyn is, grabs him by the hand and pulls him back into the bathroom, closing the door behind them and leaving it deliberately unlocked. Because Loqi _will_ interpret Ardyn's brush-off as an invitation and when he does walk in, Prompto will make sure he gets the message.

"Are you that insistent on marking your territory that you'd risk capture by Imperial forces?" Ardyn asks, amused as Prompto pushes him up against the wall. He gives a dramatic little sigh that turns into a soft moan when Prompto bites at his neck just the way he likes it. "We have the perfect opportunity to escape-" 

"Shut up," Prompto demands. Pulls Ardyn's pants down and jerks him off quick and rough until he's fully hard. Then sinks to his knees to gag himself on that thick cock. 

"You're lucky I like it when you're mean to me," Ardyn groans out, runs one hand through Prompto's hair and reaches down with the other one to grope and fondle his chest. 

Prompto whimpers, pushes up his shirt to give Ardyn better access to play and pinch at his nipples, and loses himself in the sensations enough that he's genuinely irritated when the door opens.

He pulls off Ardyn's cock with an exaggerated slurp, enjoying the way Ardyn actually whimpers when he does. Then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and gets up to stand in front of Loqi who is beet-red and staring with eyes wide and round like giant saucers to lick his lips and tell the little blond bitch "If you're that desperate for a taste of the Chancellor's dick, wait until I'm finished with him and I'll come out and give you a kiss when I'm done," with his voice all throaty and hoarse.

Prompto gives Loqi a wink, flicks his fingers out to tap at the obvious tent in his pants and make him stumble back so he can close the door in his face, this time locking it.

* * *

Ardyn is strong. Impossibly so and one of these days Prompto is going to ask him about that, along with a few other questions he's been avoiding since the start. But for now he just reaps the benefits of it, like being able to ride Ardyn's face while Ardyn stands and holds him up for it. Thrust in his mouth while Ardyn's fingers tease and play with his hole.

"Fuck me," Prompto moans out when he comes, spilling messily in Ardyn's mouth. Ardyn keeps sucking at him, laving his tongue all over the crown of it. "We totally have time, I bet he's still sulking, nobody's gonna show up just yet, come on."

"I don't know, you were so rude to the little Brigadier-General, very bratty," Ardyn croons, letting Prompto's dick slide out from his mouth, breath hot against Prompto's thighs. "I'm not sure if you deserve my cock after that little stunt."

He readjusts his hold on Prompto, drops him down so that Prompto's ass is hovering over his dick.

"Luckily for you I happen to be a generous man."

Prompto rolls his eyes. "Yeah you're so damn altruistic. Railing me in a dirty bathroom. Peak charity right here."

And just as Ardyn's about to put it in him, the door gets kicked in and they're surrounded by a bunch of MT's. Three of them to be exact.

Ardyn looks at their lifeless metal faces and then back to Prompto's guilty one.

"This one is entirely on you, my dear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun-fact: Prompto was originally supposed to give Ardyn an under the table handjob somewhere in here, but I couldn't make it work.


	12. tentacles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look at what would've happened if Ardyn had let the monster juice run its full course on Prompto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I said there was gonna be weird sex stuff?

Prompto stares at his reflection in the motel bathroom's full length mirror, panic setting in as his brain catches up with his eyesight and slowly starts to understand that his dick is fucking gone. All of it is gone, balls and hair too but the most important bit to him, beautiful little Prompto Junior in all her petite but mighty glory is fucking gone.

There's nothing but a smooth thin pink slit where everything used to be and against his better judgement, Prompto pokes at it in horrified curiosity.

Then turns and vomits in the sink because three purple squirming tentacles spill out of it, writhing and chasing after the stimulation. A large one, thick and tongue-like jerking and looping about, and two shorter ones on each side that flex and pulsate. There's a small opening too, with clear, sticky lilac-tinted fluid leaking out of it.

"Why is this happening to me?" Prompto whispers to himself miserably, and allows himself to cry for a few minutes, get it out of his system now so he can think clearly later. Fifteen minutes later he finishes sniffling, then sucks it up and wipes the bile and tears from his face to try and sort through the myriad of thoughts swirling around in his head.

His first idea is to cut them off, find a knife and dig them out of him. He dismisses that impulse as quickly as it comes, he's already mutilated, nothing good will happen making it worse and hurting himself in the process. He needs to stay calm, find a cure for this...whatever this is, and get back to Noct and the others.

His second thought is that he's going to have to assassinate the Chancellor of Niflheim because this is clearly Ardyn's fault. Prompto can't remember exactly what happened. Trudging through Steyliff Grove and getting attacked by a squad of MTs, Noct trying to do something with magic and Ardyn yelling at him not to because of a weapon the Niffs had, then a flash of light and landing alone with him in an entirely different swamp. Then waking up with Ardyn in the bed of some strange motel room.

Vague erotic memories, feelings of being held down and violated by writhing appendages stir inside him, and Prompto shudders, then gasps when the largest tentacle folds over itself to get at the new opening and cram itself inside.

It's like a switch flips somewhere in him, and he just sinks to the floor, spreads his legs open and watches the two little ones curl inward to hook in and hold the hole apart so the big one can stuff itself further inside and fuck him, twitching and pulsating and Prompto clenches around it, groans at the dual sensation of ridges fluttering around his new dick and being filled and lazily fucked.

He comes, gushes more of that slick all over the place and instinct pulses through him to spread out further so he can reach his ass - where he's just as wet - and stuff three fingers in himself.

Prompto isn't sure how long he lays there on the floor, paralyzed in the pleasure loop of fucking and getting fucked.

This doesn't have to be so bad, he thinks with a haze clinging around his mind like a dense fog. Sure it's horrible and gross and weird but it's also wonderfully achingly good, even though it feels like there's something else missing, something else he needs before he can be truly filled and sated.

He hears Ardyn outside the bathroom, still in bed but grumbling and stirring about and clumsily climbs to his feet, the aching urge of want need fuck breed coursing through him and drowning out his rational mind.


	13. food porn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompto makes Ardyn stop at a roadside diner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this I was really hungry

The sign reads _Laela's Diner: Come try one of our Ultimate Breakfast Platter 2 for 1 until 10AM_.

It's 7:30 AM.

"Ooh ooh diner, diner! Pull over!" Prompto says excitedly, pointing up at the sign.

"We ate at the motel, you can wait another few hours until we've arrived at our destination." Ardyn says, and they breeze past the diner, Prompto whining faintly.

An irritated impulse snaps through him and he reaches over and grabs the front of Ardyn's ridiculous shirt to stare him down. In the back of his mind he's a little impressed at how Ardyn manages to keep the car steady.

"Turn around and pull over or I'm jumping out of the car. Either way I am getting at least one of those breakfast platters," Prompto says flatly.

Ardyn blinks away his surprise, and pulls out of Prompto's grasp. He sighs dramatically then brakes hard and swerves the car around to make the world's douchiest u-turn to head back for the diner.

* * *

Prompto's Ultimate Breakfast Platter comes with three large over-easy eggs, three maple glazed sausage links, four slices of crisp hickory smoked bacon, and two thick slices of avocado toast.

Prompto tears into his food, ignoring Ardyn's mildly horrified staring to cram his face full. It should bother him, how much he's eating (he has definitely destroyed his TDEE with just this one meal) but he finishes his main plate and stares forlornly at Ardyn's until Ardyn rolls his eyes and wordlessly pushes his untouched platter - biscuits smothered in cheesy scrambled eggs and topped with bacon and hashbrowns - toward him.

Prompto beams at him and digs in, genuinely pleased and too much so to question that Ardyn's the source of the warm happy feeling inside him.

"Slow down, you're going to choke," Ardyn warns in benign amusement when Prompto stuffs a whole biscuit in his mouth. "Your gag-reflex isn't _that_ good you know."

Prompto swallows hard. "Can't help it I'm just...so hungry dude. You don't even know."

"A side effect of the venom. Anything else you want?"

"Order 'nother one," Prompto says through a mouthful of avocado toast. It's amazing, lots of spinach and artichoke in the spread, and topped with roasted tomatoes and chickpeas. "And some more bacon. Like a plate of it."

The idle fear that he'll get fat again passes through his mind but Prompto dismisses it as quickly as it comes. 

He lost the weight once, he can do it again.


	14. fake relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn and Prompto are mistaken for father and son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little elaboration on a line from chapter 5

"Lemme guess hon, a second helping?" the waitress says when she comes over to check on them. Prompto doesn't talk, just nods and stuffs more hashbrowns in his mouth.

"That would be wonderful," Ardyn says to her. "Prompto's appetites have been positively voracious as of late."

Prompto doesn't miss the filthy leer Ardyn sends his way, he just chooses to ignore it.

"Our boys have that in common, my little Aeron is the same way with his food," the waitress says to Ardyn while she freshens up his cup of coffee. It takes a bit for her words to settle in, but Prompto almost chokes when they do.

Our boys. Her son and Ardyn's son. Aeron and...dear gods no.

Ardyn's eyebrows raise in mild surprise too, and he glances over at Prompto. Then amusement gives way the most devious look Prompto's ever seen on that face and he smirks at Prompto's sheer horror before looking back up at their waitress.

"They do grow up so fast, don't they?" he says and then puts his arm around Prompto's shoulders and draws him in for a tight, uncomfortable hug.

This can't be happening.

Prompto dies on the inside, tries to slouch down and hide his face in his hands while Ardyn spins a tale of Prompto's alleged mother, passed away when Prompto was only a boy and blah blah blah obvious bullshit about being a single dad and being there for Prompto. Their waitress - Riele - eats it up with a spoon though, and gushes about how hard Ardyn must have had it, balancing work with taking care of him.

"It wasn't easy," Ardyn sighs sadly, looks at Prompto with what would be a believable nostalgic gaze if Prompto didn't know better. "Prompto's always had a wild streak about him. Fortunately he proved quite responsive to some _firm discipline_."

Prompto's about to object, to put an end to this disturbing facade and all the imagery of himself bent over Ardyn's knee that it keeps conjuring up. But before he can say anything Ardyn slides a hand around and pinches his nipple quick and sharp, so all Prompto ends up actually doing is squeaking once and turning bright red.

The angle they're at in the booth means Riele can't see what Ardyn's doing to him, which is great because incestuous PDA isn't something Prompto ever wants on his rap sheet. Unlike Ardyn apparently, who manages to keep a straight face the entire time Riele talks about her son's poor grades and his response to her taking away his gaming console. Nods and tuts about 'teens these days' while softly stroking his thumb around Prompto's areola.

Astrals no. 

"Bathroom!" Prompto blurts out suddenly. He shifts, forcing Ardyn to pull his (warm, calloused) fingers away and let him out of the booth.

He hurries to the diner's small restroom and locks the door, then goes to the sink, splashes water on his face and looks at himself in the mirror.

"Don't you dare Prompto Argentum," he whispers fiercely to his reflection. "After everything that's happened to you, you only have a single shred of dignity left. _Do not give it up like this. Fight it_." 

Then shoves his tunic up and starts jerking off because he is weak and painfully hard and wet.

He manages to get three fingers inside himself when a sharp knock on the door startles and interrupts him, and he barely has time to remove his fingers before Ardyn barges right in.

Prompto yelps, then growls in irritation and spins around to face him.

"How the hell-"

"I expressed concern at my son's plight and Riele was only to happy to provide me with the key," Ardyn says, and he looks far too entertained at catching Prompto like this. Blushing and shamefaced, breathing heavily with slick rolling down his legs and a small tent at the front of his tunic.

He steps in, closes the door and locks it behind him.

"Now," Ardyn purrs softly, getting closer to Prompto so he can run his fingers through his hair and look down on him in mock paternal affection that's tinged with the same kind of throbbing heat Prompto feels at his core. "Why don't you relax and let your father take care of you?"

Prompto shivers, reflexively leans back against the sink for support and spreads his thighs so Ardyn can kneel between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it still count as the 'fake/pretend relationships' trope if that relationship is familial? Lets pretend it does if it doesn't
> 
> Also hey feel free to hit me up on tumblr glameowstic.tumblr.com to come make fun of my terrible name or prompt me or chat about pokemon or w/e


	15. xeno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After exploring his new genitalia, Prompto takes them out for a test drive on Ardyn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continues in the same alternate take as chapter 12's 'tentacles' with the set up of chapter 2's 'bondage'
> 
> I was given the opportunity to explore and satisfy my xeno kink and did so thoroughly

Prompto sets the gun down on the nightstand and gets in Ardyn's lap, legs shivering and shaking. The tentacles bloom out from his slit, slippery and dripping all over Ardyn's cock. He tilts his hips so that the largest one touches it, hisses at the sudden pleasure when the tentacle moves on its own to coil itself around Ardyn, vigorously jerking him off.

He tries to keep it to just that, just the weirdest mutual jack-off session anyone's ever been part of ever, but it's not working. He can't get off like this and it's starting to hurt. Not a painful hurt, but an aching, frustrating one that sits and festers in his core.

"You need something inside of you," Ardyn moans, eyes heavy-lidded and chest heaving. His arms strain against the makeshift ropes, like he wants to break free and pin Prompto down and do it himself. "Something that can fuck and _breed you_. Let me give it to you. It won't go away until you do."

"No," Prompto gasps. "That's too weird-" he says but he's already moved so he's hovering over Ardyn's dick, his tentacle still wrapped around it, while the two little ones curl inward and hold his hole open again, for Ardyn this time instead of himself.

Prompto sinks down slowly, splitting his new hole open on that thick cock, until he's taken Ardyn right down to the hilt. The ripples and ridges inside him flutter and pulsate around the intrusion, cling tight and massage all over it. Ardyn swears, low and deep in a language Prompto can't place. His hips jerk up hard and Prompto loses it, comes and gushes more slick out from both of his holes while his tentacle spits a stream of fluid out that splatters all over Ardyn's face and chest.

"That's it, take what you need darling, use me all you like," Ardyn coaxes. He lets his tongue loll out, laps up the dribbles of Prompto's come around his mouth.

Prompto does use Ardyn, goes mindless with it for a while and rides him hard, bites and scratches him up as much as he pleases. Savoring the quiet moans and whimpers Ardyn makes when he does. They're muted, quick little sounds, like Ardyn's actively trying to keep them from coming out, and that makes Prompto shudder, clench down more. There's a loud crack, and Prompto jerks his head up to see that Ardyn has ripped away from the headboard and his restraints. Before Prompto knows it he's on his back, with Ardyn hovering over him.

"Why don't we try a change of pace?" Ardyn says, draws Prompto's legs up and over his shoulders and starts fucking him, alternating between lazy, teasing thrusts and short, hard strokes. It feels good so Prompto lets Ardyn do it for a bit, thrust and rut him into another orgasm. 

The little strain of irritation comes back though. Ardyn's still not giving him what he wants, hasn't truly filled him the way Prompto needs. Hasn't bred Prompto the way he promised. He isn't sure where the hell these thoughts are coming from, these urges to be filled and impregnated, but he doesn't care.

He _needs_ it.

In a flash Prompto rolls them so Ardyn's the one on his back instead, and the look of shock on his face would make Prompto laugh if he weren't otherwise occupied. He seats himself back on Ardyn's cock, and before he can say anything Prompto squeezes his insides as hard as he can, enjoying the way Ardyn inhales sharply. He's clearly trying to power through it so Prompto rakes his nails down Ardyn's chest, and that draws out a strangled yelp from him. Prompto smiles, leans down and bites at one of Ardyn's pectorals then laves the reddening mark with his tongue. Brings his hand up to wrap around and press down on Ardyn's throat.

"You're mine now," Prompto murmurs, dazed and dreamy. "You belong to me now, tell me." 

Ardyn huffs, tries and fails to school his face into that smarmy overly-confident look.

"I think you'll find that the only man I belong to is mys-"

"Shut up," Prompto snarls, draws his hand back and slaps Ardyn across the face. "Say it."

He tightens his grip on Ardyn's throat, leans in and gets in his face. Ignores Ardyn's attempts to grab his arm or shove him off.

" **Say it**."

Prompto can see the moment Ardyn gives in. His whole body goes lax with surrender, his eyes wet and glazed over in pure bliss. Gorgeous, Prompto thinks.

"I belong to you now," Ardyn forces out, just as the color of his face edges into purple territory.

Prompto relaxes his hold. "Good. Now come." 

Ardyn immediately obeys, climaxing in helpless, sobbing pulses and Prompto revels in the sensation of his new hole getting filled with fertile seed.

"Gods that's good you're so good giving me what I need," Prompto says rushed and all at once, nuzzling his nose underneath Ardyn's jaw, not thinking or caring about who Ardyn is or what they've done. He's been bred now, and right now that's the only thing in the world that matters to him.

He kisses Ardyn, little nips and smooches along his jaw that trail up to the tear tracks on the side of his face. 

The last thought that comes to Prompto before the next wave of mindless lust fully consumes him is how terrible the lighting in their motel room is, that it makes the tears look black instead of clear.


	16. comfort bathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn and Prompto spend a night in a fancy hotel and take advantage of their suite's luxurious bathroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written pre-Episode Prompto and you can interpret their conversation about the barcodes as Ardyn lying to Prompto or further of an AU with worldbuilding about Niflheim's oppressive regime.

They pull up into the front of the hotel Ardyn insists on staying in and Prompto literally gasps.

"This is not a hotel, this is a palace," he says, gawking at the giant elaborate building. "I know you've been bankrolling this whole side-trip but I'm pretty sure just one night here would cost more than our lives are worth combined. Let's just stop at the store, buy some supplies and camp out at-"

"I don't believe in camping and you know it," Ardyn says, and that's the end of that.

After Ardyn vaguely threatens the valet before turning over the keys, they go inside, check in and head up to their room.

Only their room isn't a room, it is an entire damn suite.

There is a kitchen bigger than Prompto's bedroom back home that Ignis would faint or at least quietly but audibly inhale sharply at, and the bed looks like something out of Noct's wildest napping dreams (so many pillows), but the real crown jewel of the place is the bathroom.

Specifically the bathtub. It's huge, made out of marble and has four different faucets, spa jets like a hot tub and trays filled with all kinds of expensive soaps and haircare products.

"It's beautiful," Prompto says softly. 

Ardyn grins. "Now you understand why I insisted we stay here? Get the tub started, I'm ordering room service."

Room service consists of prime Garula rib and some excellent green curry for Prompto and a very expensive bottle of wine for Ardyn that he insists has all these notes and flavors, but as far as Prompto can tell just tastes like every other kind of wine he's ever tried before: terrible.

"You don't seem to eat very much," Prompto points out, when they're finished with their respective meals (if you can call two thirds of a bottle of wine a meal and to be fair, some people did. Though also to be fair, those people tended to be alcoholics) and soaking in the tub together. He's curled up against Ardyn's chest and the idea that all of what they're doing is far too intimate crosses Prompto's mind. He dismisses the thought as quickly as it comes though, there's already so much he's going to have to pretend never happened, what's one more moment to add to the pile? Besides, it feels nice, submerged in hot water with Ardyn's arms around him, holding him safe and sound. He can have this, just for now.

"Us Niflheimians have advanced past the need for food. We subsist on sunlight as our main source of energy with the occasional nutritional supplement in the form of a pill or suppository," Ardyn says, completely deadpan.

"Wow really? Oh my gosh," Prompto gasps sarcastically then flicks one of Ardyn's firm pectorals, just to be a brat. He could press the issue, directly ask what's up with Ardyn and all the weirdness surrounding him and all the deflecting he does whenever Prompto does bother to ask. Little odd things like that he never seems to actually eat or major things like that even with his head against Ardyn's chest, Prompto can't seem to hear or feel a heartbeat.

He won't though. Denial has been an old friend since he was a kid and he will rely on it for the entire duration of this side-trip.

"What's Niflheim actually like then?" He asks though, before he can stop himself.

"Incredibly dull and overbearing," Ardyn answers, eyes still closed. "Whomever smuggled you out when they did was right to do so, a radiant flower such as yourself would have withered and died under Niflheim's attentions instead of blossoming forth into the exquisite being you are today.

Prompto rolls his eyes. Radiant flower. _Exquisite_. Yeah sure.

There's something else he wants to know and he hesitates, but licks his lips and presses forward in his questioning.

"And the barcode on my wrist...do you know what it means?"

"All Niflheimian subjects are given a serial number and identification code," Ardyn says, and Prompto wants to interrupt, point out that Ardyn doesn't seem to have one. But again, he doesn't. "You could be anyone from an ordinary citizen to the rumored secret long lost son of the Emperor himself. If I had a scanner I could tell you, there might be one in the trunk of the car-"

"That's okay," Prompto says quickly. "I changed my mind, I don't think I actually wanna know."

"You're not curious about your intended destiny?" Ardyn asks, opening his eyes and glancing down at Prompto.

Prompto shrugs, distracts himself by playing with the wet strands of Ardyn's hair. 

"Not really," he answers after a bit. "I mean, who you're fated to be doesn't really matter as much as who you choose to be. Like it could be your destiny to be the worst person in the whole wide world but it wouldn't matter if you instead told destiny to piss off and follow the path you've carved out for yourself."

Ardyn's arms tighten around him.

"What an interesting point of view," he murmurs, pets Prompto softly across the cheek once and brushes the hair out from his face. "A tad naive though. Sometimes fate simply has no use for a man's free will and aspirations for good, and will _force_ him into the role it decides he must fulfill, regardless of that man's own desires and intent," Ardyn says with the kind of bitterness that tells Prompto he's speaking from experience.

So Prompto drops it, choosing instead to give Ardyn a small kiss on his collarbone, and lets himself be lulled to sleep by the warm water and faint pulse in Ardyn's chest, weak but seemingly growing in strength with every beat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> glameowstic.tumblr.com


	17. nipple play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mess is made and Prompto learns something _fascinating_ about Ardyn and his tastes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to indulge some of my other kinks
> 
> Though really this whole thing is one great big indulgence lol

"You know, I am getting really sick of things happening to my body without my permission," Prompto says, looking down at the two rapidly growing dark stains on his chest.

He groans and plucks at the front of his shirt, grimacing at the way the wet material clings to his tiny breasts.

"Ugh do you have napkins or anything-"

"Glove compartment," Ardyn answers, rather shortly. Prompto fumbles with the little hatch and digs through a bunch of parking tickets, pens, and sewing kit materials to find a whole ream of napkins in a container like the kind you'd find at a diner.

Prompto takes a generous handful, then rolls his shirt up to his armpits to wipe up the mess trickling down his stomach. It was bad enough that he had breasts now to begin with (especially when they set off that weird _this is wrong your body is wrong now_ train of thought that he keeps having to ignore) but now they were doing things like leaking milk out all over the place and radiating little jolts of pain occasionally and that just made everything worse.

He dabs a napkin around his nipples and gods they're so much bigger and _puffier_ now, and they were already sensitive to begin with but now just the rub of a paper napkin against them has him holding back moans and sighs. Prompto bites his lip, then gently touches the left one, pressing down just the slightest little bit. He shivers when drop after drop of milk starts dribbling out unbidden, and some of it gets on his fingers but Prompto ignores it to keep rubbing and playing with the sensitive little nub.

Then the car swerves and all boob related thoughts are replaced with ones about how he's going to die in a car accident where Noct's not the driver (what a twist ending) along with a little voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Ignis Scientia admonishing him for not wearing his seatbelt.

Ardyn quickly regains control and steers the car back into the right lane.

“Dude what the fuck was that?!” Prompto yells, frantically buckling his seatbelt. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack? You’re supposed to be the competent driver here man, so what the hell?!”

Ardyn clears his throat. "Apologies, there was...a chickatrice. In the middle of the road. Had to avoid it,"

Prompto looks back. There isn't a goddamn thing in sight except for more highway and fields of grass. He looks over at Ardyn to see what the hell's going on with him.

Ardyn is stone-faced and rigid in his seat, white-knuckling the steering wheel so tight there might be indentations from his fingers when or if he ever lets go. His Adam's apple keeps bobbing up and down, his gaze absolutely and intently focused on the road ahead like nothing else exists but the pavement.

Prompto looks at Ardyn, then back behind them again, then back to Ardyn.

It takes a few seconds but then it clicks.

"...You _pervert_ ," Prompto says his jaw slowly dropping in an obnoxious smile usually reserved for when Noct trips over his own feet in battle. Ardyn isn't blushing but he doesn't need to, Prompto can tell that he's totally embarrassed. Oh fuck this is amazing, this is...damn it he doesn’t have his camera which is tragic because if there was ever a time to start snapping pictures, it is right here and now.

"I haven’t the faintest idea as to what you are referring to," Ardyn says blankly, staring off into the distance.

"You _like_ this. My chest, my nipples, me lactating. This is your 'thing'. That's why you lost control of the car, you were checking out the goods!"

"I told you there was a chickatrice," Ardyn insists, still pointedly not looking at Prompto. "You can't prove that there wasn't."

Prompto cackles. "Admit it, you got distracted by all this blond sugar and almost killed us both as a result!”

Ardyn's nostrils flare.

"I admit to nothing," he says stiffly and clenches the steering wheel that much tighter.

Prompto smirks. Then licks his lips and unbuckles his seatbelt to scoot over and sidle up next to Ardyn, making sure that his nipples rub and graze against his arm. Time to pay him back for the little stunt he pulled at the diner that one time.

"Are you sure? Because I think I might need your help. I mean, look at how full and swollen they are,” Prompto says with a pout, really laying it on thick. “My milk is just _dripping_ all over the place and my nipples are so damn sore, I don’t know what to do.”

He scooches in closer to lean in and nuzzle at Ardyn’s jaw all cute and innocent like before murmuring “ _I need you_ ,” in his ear.

That’s what does it. Ardyn veers off the road into the neighboring field and continues on for about 100 or so feet then puts the car in park and heaves himself over into the backseat, dragging Prompto along with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> glameowstic.tumblr.com


	18. kid fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompto comes across an abandoned bundle of joy

Ardyn complains the whole time they trek through the forest. It's too hot, there are bugs everywhere, mud and dirt is getting all over his precious coat, again it's too hot and on and on and on.

Prompto wonders if this is how the guys feel when he whines to them and resolves to never ever bitch about anything again in their presence. Or at least reduce said bitching by at least 40%.

"You still won't tell me why we're out here," Ardyn huffs, dragging his sword (that he swears has been in the trunk of his car this whole time but Prompto has never actually seen until now) in the dirt. "If this is an attempt at finding a suitable backdrop for some sort of 'roughing it in the wilderness' sexual fantasy, we've already passed several adequate rocks and trees."

Prompto groans. "This isn't a sex thing jackass, and I already told you, I don't know why, just that there's something here and I need to find it. Feelings not knowledge. And you could've just stayed in the car," he points out, frustrated. Then mumbles under his breath, "wish you would've just stayed in the car."

"I can hear you perfectly."

"Then you can hear me telling you to shut up," Prompto snaps.

It isn't entirely true that he doesn't know why they're trampling about in the forest instead of back on the road. It had been a fleeting sight, a glimpse from his peripheral vision while traveling down the highway, but Prompto could swear he saw Pryna dashing through the trees.

The faintest, tiniest little cry rings out and Prompto freezes. He turns and runs eastward before Ardyn can tell him not to. He makes it to the edge of a cliff and looks down to see remains of some sort of tomb. The entrance wall is crumbled enough to give him a good look inside and see a basket on an altar. A baby basket.

Oh what the hell.

Prompto leaps down from the ledge, a 40 foot drop to the ground that ends with a heavy thud that cracks the stone tile he lands on.

"Don't be dead, don't be dead don't be dead don't be dead please don't be dead," he prays when he creeps inside toward the altar. It's not entirely dark, enough of the roof is caved in that sunlight peeks through here and there, but it's still risky. He gets close enough and quickly snatches the basket and sprints back outside to the entrance, just to be safe.

The baby inside isn't dead, just sleeping and gurgling, and Prompto lets out a big sigh of relief.

"Hey there sweet girl," he coos to the baby. "What are you doing out here all alone? It's not safe."

Someone must've abandoned her, and once again uncomfortable feelings stir up within Prompto's chest.

"Dropping down from heights like that is terrible for your knees you know," Ardyn says, appearing from behind, interrupting memories of the orphanage he lived in before getting adopted, those few years spent wondering why his bio parents left him there. "Regardless of enhanced strength."

Prompto frowns, pushes the thoughts away. "How'd you get here so fast?"

"Stairs," Ardyn says, pointing to the rows of them carved into the side of the cliff like it actually answers Prompto's question. Then he looks down at the basket in mild distaste. "What is that?"

"A baby. Duh," Prompto says, gently stroking at the wisps of her hair. "She was in there on that altar. I don't understand, why would someone leave her _here_? What is this place even?"

"Ruins of a temple for..." Ardyn trails off, stares at the carved foreign letters above the entrance. "Huh, the Archaean. I forgot this was here."

"Titan?" Prompto asks, scrunching his face up. "I thought most Accordoans were worshipers of Leviathan?"

Ardyn hums. "They are now, but it wasn't always like that and goodness the wars over it were quite unpleasant. History lesson later though, we really should leave," he says, looking all around their surroundings in suspicion.

Prompto agrees, and scoops the baby up in his arms, careful not to wake her up. Ardyn sighs.

"I don't suppose I can convince you to put that back where you found it...oh don't look at me like that, I'm kidding," he says when Prompto glares at him.

He tries to hand her to Ardyn.

"What are you giving her to me for?" Ardyn asks, taking a giant step backwards and Prompto tries not find the confused look on his face cute in any way. It is though, just a little bit. "You found it, that makes it your responsibility."

"You're the one that said you used to be a doctor," Prompto says, and he channels his inner Iggy to put as much wry condescension into his next words. "So be a doctor, dummy. Check if she's healthy."

Ardyn stares at the baby for a few seconds.

"She's healthy."

Prompto glares harder.

Ardyn sighs then takes the baby from him, cradling her softly. He looks her over properly, gently inspects her feet and hands, taps at her neck and belly. Tilts her head up to look up in her nostrils, then presses his ear to her chest with his brow furrowed in concentration. Counting, Prompto realizes.

"She's healthy," Ardyn says again, a minute later. "Heartbeat's strong, no shallow breathing, no swollen joints or lymph nodes, no abrasions or skin discoloration. Let me be clear though, when we take her to the nearest hospital, we are leaving her there."

Prompto snorts. "Of course we're leaving her there. Dude I can't take care of a baby, I got stuff to do." 

Prompto's pretty sure the only person worse equipped to take care of a kid than himself is Noct and that's only because he's basically still a fetus himself. There's the tiniest bit of longing though, a little part of himself deep down that tells him this is his baby now, against all rational thought.

He squashes that feeling like a bug.

"I just don't want you getting attached is all," Ardyn says carefully. "All that will do is make it harder for you to let her go. And it'll be especially difficult with your new hormones and certain...things you'll be doing soon."

Prompto stares at him, not understanding what he's getting at with 'certain things'.

"Only one of us is equipped to feed this child at the moment," Ardyn says, nodding to Prompto's chest. "And I hope you brought a change of shirt."

Prompto looks down and groans at the sight of two spreading stains.

"Aw, aw _god damn it._ "

* * *

They trudge through the forest, taking breaks when the baby starts to cry so Prompto can feed her. Prompto won't let Ardyn watch him do it ("You know why not," he says, eyes narrowed accusingly at Ardyn when he asks) which means they have to stop often and by the time they make it back to the car, the sun's on its way to setting.

"We should-"

"If you say make camp at a haven I will leave you and the infant right here."

Prompto rolls his eyes and puts the baby and basket in the front seat. "You can't hate the outdoors more than you like living."

"There are plenty of things I hate more than I like living. The outdoors is but one on that list. Come now, we'll be fine driving to the nearest caravan, don't you trust me?"

Prompto finishes laughing about two full minutes later.

"Seriously though," he says, wiping his eyes and still chuckling a bit. "Haven time. Find one and take us to it. Not asking."

Ardyn folds his arms. "You couldn't make me even if you tried."

Prompto shakes his head, already feeling his blood start to boil. "Don't go there man, you don't want it."

Ardyn raises an eyebrow at that. "Don't I?"

* * *

"I suppose," Ardyn gasps, cradling his arm to his chest and spitting more blood out (and Prompto doesn't miss the way it flickers from black to red, only subconsciously chooses to ignore it). "That just this once, we might degrade ourselves by sleeping outdoors. You are quite the vicious little beast, do you know that?"

"Yeah well, you fight like a fucking dick too. And actually you're gonna have to go ahead and drive us straight to a hospital, I'm like 99.9% sure my lung is collapsing," Prompto forces out. Inhaling hurts a lot, and exhaling hurts a lot more than that and it's probably a miracle that his ribs aren't shattered considering Ardyn kicked him in the chest hard enough to slam him into a tree and smash the trunk.

"And you call me a drama queen," Ardyn says with a little hmph.

"Shut it."

They hobble back to the car, Ardyn audibly grimacing and grunting at the pressure on his left hip (which as far as Prompto could tell was already fucked up before he had stomped it into a fine powder) which tells Prompto that he's hurting too, although definitely not nearly as bad. And that sucks because Prompto had gone nearly all out and he had the feeling that Ardyn was holding back the whole time. A lot.

"So like...do Nifs have a super soldier serum or something?" Prompto wheezes out when he gets in the car and struggles to settle the baby basket in his lap. She's still sleeping, snoozed right through the fight and appears to be keen on staying that way, which is good because feeding or cradling her would be a lot more strain on his chest that he doesn't want put on it right this second.

"...Yes. Yes that's exactly what that was," Ardyn answers after a while. He starts the car and heads toward the highway. "State secret, don't tell anyone."

Prompto mimes zipping his lips shut, even though Ardyn's clearly lying his ass off, then settles in for the drive, reaching into the basket to cuddle the baby and let her wrap one of those tiny hands around his finger. Everything that Prompto tried to keep tampered down surges right back up in that little instant. All the warmth and love and joy.

"Don't-"

"I know, I know," Prompto says. "Don't get attached."

He's trying. He knows it's not real, but it feels that way right now so it might as well be.

The rest of the drive is quiet, and not a single daemon appears for the entire duration of the trip to the hospital.

"It's nothing personal," Ardyn says, when they've left the baby in the hands of very capable nurses and get patched up. "I'm sure you'd make a wonderful father but the circumstances are less than ideal and traveling will be much more difficult-"

"Will you just drop it already?" Prompto says irritably, and Ardyn thankfully does.


	19. cuddlefucking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Early morning wakeup sex + tentacles = a very satisfied Ardyn Izunia
> 
> It's just math

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place in the xeno continuity

Waking up to fucking himself isn't a new experience anymore, so when Prompto stirs in the early morning and feels himself orgasming inside something hot and tight around his tentacle, he sighs and lets the pleasure of it wash over him.

Slow realizations start to trickle in when his climax starts to fade. Like that while he's definitely fucking something, there's the distinct lack of being stretched and filled with his own come that means Prompto is banging himself again. Or that while he and Ardyn are spooning, which isn't unusual anymore, Ardyn is the little spoon, which is.

All of these little realizations build up into the big conclusion, and Prompto looks down where his crotch is pressed against Ardyn's ass and finds himself speared deep inside him, tentacle writhing around as far as it'll go in that tight clenched heat.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Prompto whimpers, tries draw the tentacle out but it still seems to have a mind of its own and instead buries itself in Ardyn that much more, making him gasp slightly.

It must really hurt, Prompto thinks, for Ardyn to be clenching his jaw so tightly, gripping the sheets as hard as he is. So he tries to physically pull away from Ardyn, tries to be delicate about it.

Then one of Ardyn’s hands slaps down on Prompto’s hip to hold him in place while he tilts his head back to look Prompto in the eye and glare at him.

"Don't you dare," he snarls. “You stay right where you are, and finish what you have started.”

"What...I don't-" Prompto stammers, then everything falls into place.

“Oh,” Prompto says weakly, turned on all over again. More slick drips out from both of his holes and more than ever he wishes he had his collection of toys with him.

"You...have been edging me, for nearly an hour now,” Ardyn says in huffed out little groans. “If you stop, I will strangle you _oh_ ," he sighs with a positively blissful look on his face.

Oh. Okay.

Prompto licks his lips, then clutches Ardyn closer to his chest. The size difference makes it awkward at first but he eventually finds a good rhythm, starts rocking his hips in short hard thrusts, enjoying the little noises Ardyn makes with each movement. Prompto has some control over the tentacle, has practiced making it move around. Partly out of curiosity and partly to see if he could wave to himself with his dick now (he can, it’s hilarious). It takes a lot of concentration - he swears the little bastard does in fact have a mind of its own because trying to move it one way will result in it trying to do the opposite - but he manages, makes it curve back and forth and rub Ardyn’s inner walls, lets it flex and throb and work him over.

Ardyn moans, takes his hand off Prompto’s hip to slide between his legs.

"Ah-ah, I don’t think so,” Prompto says with an impish grin. He grabs Ardyn’s wrist, slowly pulls his hand away from where it was palming at the head of his dick. 

"Darling please," Ardyn says, visibly frustrated now. "You're being rather cruel don't you think-"

“You come only on my cock or not at all,” Prompto warns him playfully, smirks when Ardyn shivers at his words. He changes the pace, lets his hips roll against Ardyn, lifts his leg up to get better access to his hole so he can use his smaller tentacles to press against the rim and add to the stretch.

Prompto focuses, tries to work his tentacle in more but ever the contrarian, it chooses to squirm around and curl against Ardyn's prostate and press down as hard as it can. He decides to go with it, changes the angle so he has more leverage and pounds into Ardyn until he finally comes, hard enough that he actually screams a little, low and ragged like every shuddering pulse of his orgasm is agonizing.

“You okay man?” Prompto asks, after he gives Ardyn some time to come down from it. He dips his fingers in the almost literal puddle of jizz on the bed-sheets, then fits his hand between their bodies and gets underneath his tentacle to play with his little opening, taking the edge off the growing ache there.

“Mmmph,” Ardyn grunts into the pillow. “If you'll allow me a few more moments to gather my bearings, my sweet? I promise you, I shall return the favor more than in full,” he says tiredly but with the kind of heat to it that lets Prompto know he's going to get both holes thoroughly wrecked.

Prompto smiles to himself, then nips at Ardyn’s neck and plays with his hair a bit.

“Eh, take your time. You earned it buddy.”


	20. vanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn finds something wrong with his hair, Prompto doesn't see the problem

"Will you move dude? I need to brush my teeth," Prompto tries. "Come on you've been standing there for like an hour now."

Ardyn doesn't move an inch. Stays right where he is in front of mirror and keeps taking up all the space in the tiny caravan bathroom. He's staring at something that Prompto can't see so he gets up on his tiptoes and leans in through the door as best he can. He manages to squish and squirm his way in (pausing here and there to appreciate Ardyn's shirtlessness) before looking in the mirror trying to see what has Ardyn so worked up.

Ardyn's examining one of the more wild strands of his hair, holding it between his index finger and thumb, adjusting it here and there so the light falls on...a thin streak of silver.

"A gray hair," Prompto says in disbelief. "That's seriously what's got you all freaked out? A gray hair?"

"Three."

"Huh?"

"I have three grey hairs. There should only be one in this strand," Ardyn says, and he looks so genuinely disturbed by it that Prompto has to hold back a laugh. Little snickers and snorts choke out anyway but Ardyn either doesn't notice or care because he continues staring at his hair, tilting and turning his head to look at it from different angles. 

Prompto pats Ardyn on the back a little bit, partly to comfort him in his time of sorrow, but mainly to encourage him to get the hell out of his way. It doesn't work, Ardyn doesn't budge nor does he look even a little placated by Prompto's kind touch.

Time for a different approach then.

"Okay, so you're going gray. Hate to break it to you, but that's the kind of thing that happens when you get older," Prompto says with a little click of his tongue. "And I mean...I'm kinda surprised you don't have more, you're not exactly a spring chickatrice, y'know?"

Ardyn's eyes narrow and he meets Prompto's gaze in the mirror.

"I certainly hope that wasn't an attempt at making me feel better."

Prompto rolls his eyes.

"Just trying to give you a little perspective. Aging. It's a thing people tend to do. And come on, it's not like a few grays is gonna be a devastating blow to your looks."

"That's not why I'm - look, you don't have the context to understand how wrong this is and I'm not going to give it to you for selfish reasons of my own, but understand that this is a very serious thing to be concerned about," Ardyn huffs. 

"I'm just saying, going gray is only gonna make you look hotter." Prompto shrugs. Then shakes his head and worms his way out of the bathroom when Ardyn goes back to scrutinizing his hair.

He'll have to use the kitchen sink instead.


	21. bad ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn is literally not allowed to have nice things

"Please," Ardyn begs, and he actually gets on his knees, lowers himself before Gentiana in a last fit of desperation. "Please you've already taken everything else away from me. Not this. Not him. Please."

Gentiana smiles at him, sad and condescending.

"You knew we could not allow this. You have a role to play, a destiny to fulfill. Neither of which involve him," she says in that slow, but commanding tone.

She turns to Prompto, reaches out to draw him closer to her and Prompto instinctively backs away. In time for the hiss of a blade swinging through the air and aimed at Gentiana's throat. She bats it away like a nuisance, a fly buzzing around or a strand of hair in her face. It shatters in a shower of snowflakes and the force of it knocks Ardyn back, slams him back hard into the side of his car and crumpling it in two.

Ardyn is back on his feet immediately, and in a red flash summons his sword, the Blade of the Mystic.

 _"I once cleaved a behemoth in half with this thing,"_ he had claimed when showing it off to Prompto. Prompto had laughed, called him a liar then was made to eat those words when Ardyn went out and proved it. Then teased and argued with him about whether or not 'mostly in half' actually counted as 'in half' like previously claimed.

"I won't," Ardyn snarls, breathing heavily, the scourge dripping from his eyes. All the progress he had made, slowly being undone. "I won't let you take him I won't-"

Gentiana purses her lips together slowly. Gently blows a cool sharp blast of air that freezes Ardyn solid where he stands.

She turns to Prompto, unblinking when she realizes he's summoned his handgun and has her lined up in his sights.

"Do not put up a fight," Gentiana warns. "You are a needed piece, but an ultimately replaceable one-"

Prompto fires two shots, both aimed for her head. She vanishes the instant he pulls the trigger though, and reappears behind him. She doesn't freeze Prompto solid, but a violent chill rolls through him, enough that he drops his handgun and falls down to all fours.

"Could you at least let me tell him that I love him?" Prompto asks weakly after trying and failing to get back up. He looks up, and Gentiana smiles sadly and shakes her head.

Prompto sniffs, nods and rubs away at his stinging eyes that have nothing to do with the sudden cold.

"'Course not," he mutters. Because that would be a kindness Ardyn didn't deserve apparently. "Y'know something? You, the astrals...you're all just fucking awful, I hope you know that. You don't care, but...know that."

"The Accursed must be a true monster," Gentiana says calmly. "He cannot be that if he has your love." She cups Prompto's face and he cringes at the sting of frostbite starting to set in where her skin touches his.

"You have a role to play too. And it is at the King of Light's side, not his," she sneers.

Then she leans down, kisses his forehead and with a bright white flash his mind is a blizzard, a storm of snow and ice and nothing else.

* * *

Altissia at night is a beautiful, glorious thing, dazzling lights and opulent buildings.

"So," Noct says, when they're alone on one of the gondolas, floating along one of many beautiful canals. Ignis and Gladio are on the one behind them, saying something about Noct needing the privacy. "Your epic roadtrip with Ardyn. What was that like? See or uh...do anything interesting maybe?" He asks awkwardly.

Prompto shrugs. "I told you before dude, I dunno. It all kinda just went by in a blur. And every time I try to think about it I get this weird chill and my mind like...gets brain freeze or something."

It bothers Prompto, the way his mind whites over any time he tries to think back on the trip. He remembers driving a lot, maybe arguing with Ardyn a bit. But not much else. Sometimes at night he'll feel the phantom touch of warm loving hands all over his skin though. Or his body will feel weird like something happened that it remembers even if his mind doesn't. Trying to chase those feelings makes his head hurt for hours, a cool voice whispering in his head to forget.

It's probably nothing.

(It feels like something. Something important.)

"That is weird," Noct comments absently. He sidles closer to Prompto, grazes his palm with his fingers in a hesitant touch, before firmly committing and taking Prompto's hand. He doesn't look at Prompto while he does it, but Prompto can tell that he's blushing and biting at his lip. Then Noct goes for it, kisses Prompto in a wonderfully clumsy display of romantic intent.

Prompto smiles against Noct's lips before kissing him back, ignoring the strange thought that comes into his head that this is all wrong. Trying to shake off the feeling that his heart already belongs to another.

Or that he's being watched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the actual end, there will be more (I am in no way finished with playing around in this verse), this is just one conclusion to the shenanigans.
> 
> And there is a good ending, I promise. It's currently more of an idea of a good ending than anything right now but it exists as a concept


	22. cooking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn makes Prompto breakfast

Prompto has learned a lot of things about Ardyn on this roadtrip.

Mundane things that he's learned from experience (Ardyn hates the outdoors, sews his own clothing, and knows all kinds of obscure stories about...everything it seems) or things that he's learned from conjecture (Prompto is 85% sure that Ardyn is some sort of time traveler and is hiding magic powers, but has no proof beyond half-remembered weird dreams and the way certain things don't add up). Intimate things (Ardyn loves having his hair played with) and outright bizarre things (there is an instrument called the hydrocrystalophone and Ardyn can not only play it, but play it _well_ ).

Here at the tiny breakfast table, he learns another new thing about Ardyn.

He can't cook for shit.

 _"We won't have time to stop anywhere if we want to make it to Acioloch before sundown, so I went and bought supplies and cooked for you myself - ah no need for applause, the cautious look of disbelief on your face is all the thanks I need,"_ he had said before leaving to pack up the car.

Now Prompto sits in the tiny caravan kitchen, looking at the world's saddest breakfast. The omelette (or at least, Prompto thinks it's an omelette) is undercooked in some spots and burnt in others, the bacon looks like it'll crumble in black dust if Prompto even looks at it wrong, and the oatmeal might as well be concrete because when Prompto tries to pull the spoon out he picks the whole bowl up instead.

He can taste the loads of salt Ardyn apparently thought needed to be added (to **everything** ) just by smelling it, but he braces himself and slices off a piece of omelette and delicately places it on his tongue.

"Are you enjoying your meal?" Ardyn calls out from outside.

"I love it dude, thanks," Prompto cheerfully says while he chews and silently cries to himself.

"Full disclosure, I haven't actually prepared a meal on my own in cen-decades so I'm a little rusty on the whole process. Obviously it's going to be a travesty compared to the fine dining experience you're used to receiving from Snooty, but I did do my best," Ardyn says, stomping up the stairs to lean against the doorframe and watch Prompto eat.

"No no, it's..it's great! I didn't know how good oranges could taste in an omelette...wait Snooty?" Prompto asks, then laughs. "Wait you mean Ignis? Is that what you call him in your head?!"

"Sure," Ardyn shrugs. "There's Snooty and Meaty and Lazy. The Three Unwise Men."

Prompto stares at Ardyn for a bit.

"What was my nickname then?" He asks, watching Ardyn's face carefully. Ardyn's eyes do that thing where they widen just the tiniest little bit, the closest thing he has to an _oh shit_ expression.

"Eat your food," Ardyn says instead and quickly makes his escape back outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funfacts:
> 
> \- Ardyn's nickname for Prompto was 'Twinky', something that had Prompto scowly and displeased until Ardyn made it up to him with oral sex
> 
> \- Ardyn was trying to make Prompto a sweet berry omelette, except the only bit of the recipe he remembered was 'fruit in omelette' so instead of anything good, it was literally just oranges and grapes in egg. And lots of salt and pepper and some lemon juice because as far as Ardyn can recall, that's some sort of breakfast flavor probably
> 
> \- Also with cooking the bacon he literally just set it all on fire and waited
> 
> \- Prompto ate **all of it**. Even the oatmeal


	23. romance novel titles generated by artificial intelligence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn goes thrifting, Prompto stumbles across one of his favorite books

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter name is in reference to this https://medium.com/towards-data-science/romance-novels-generated-by-artificial-intelligence-1b31d9c872b2

The thrift store smells like every other thrift store ever: mildew, mothballs and abandonment. Unwanted has a scent, and that scent is stale and musty.

Ardyn makes a beeline for the hats, intent on replacing the one he lost in the swamp.

 _"I loved that hat the way most people love their children,"_ he had said sadly. _"Or at least I assume."_

Prompto amuses himself by wandering from shelf to shelf, looking at all the various knick-knacks. Figurines, decorative bottles, little things whose only purpose was to take up space and therefore the first items to go in their previous owners' attempts at decluttering.

He spends a few minutes deliberating on how much he needs a faded framed picture of a cartoon chocobo in a top hat and bowtie (somewhere between extremely necessary in order to function and absolutely critical to his ongoing survival) before moving on to the book section, skimming over the various titles. Cookbooks ( _1001 Cup Noodle Recipes_ , _Diet Like a Daemon_ , _Cooking for Royalty for Dummies_ , _Mastering the Art of Tenebraean Cooking_ ) religious themed self-help books ( _6 Astrals 6 Days 1 Brand New You!_ , _Ifrit and Me: One Man's Journey Through Pitioss and Back_ , _Better Living Through Bahamut_ ) and an assortment of schlocky romance novels, with one familiar title catching his eye.

Holy crap.

It's that book. The one that he had read until it fell apart and then taped back together so it could hold out for another month or so while he frantically searched for a new copy.

On the cover of the book is the title, In the Mountain for the Tender Seduction in giant gold script, with Apollyon Mustela underneath in dark red.

Prompto picks the book up and flips through the yellowed, fading pages. Muscle memory guides him, after all this time he doesn't need bookmarks or dogeared corners to take him, just immediately finds page 96 and reads.

_"Let go of me!" Nemyx hissed. He struggled against Adaranth's arms, a futile endeavor. Worse yet, he found himself wanting nothing more than to roll over on all fours and present himself to the wretched man who had stolen him from his owner, the Midnight Prince._

_Adaranth sighed. "I'm afraid I can't do that," he said while stroking and playing with Nemyx's ears, enjoying the way Nemyx purred at his touch. "You tried to escape, little one. And that means I have to punish you."_

_Adaranth reached down to play with Nemyx's tail._

_"Come now kitten," He crooned softly. "I'll try to be gentle."_

Oh god. Even after all this time it's still super effective.

Prompto clears his throat, looks around quickly before surreptitiously adjusting himself, cupping between his legs to keep his tentacles inside.

He quickly skims through a few pages to get to the really, really good part. The part he would read over and over before going to bed. The part he was always afraid of getting caught reading by someone else, especially his parents.

_"Such a beauty you are. Look at yourself, so desperate and aching. What would your prince say, if he could see you like this?" Adaranth chuckled. He brought his hand down again and again, a relentless flurry of harsh slaps that left Nemyx trembling and panting for more. There was still of course, a tiny part of him that was desperate to remain firm in his resolve to fight his instincts and refrain from giving in to his baser nature. But his yearning desire for the dark haired man soon overwhelmed him._

_"Please, please," Nemyx moaned._

_Not for Adaranth to stop. To give him **more**._

_"That's it. So good, you're such a good little slut for me aren't you, lovely?"_

"My goodness, whatever it is that you're reading must be quite exciting."

Prompto yelps and quickly stuffs the book under his shirt. Then turns around to face Ardyn. He's leaning against a shopping cart filled with junk, chin resting in his hand while he looks at Prompto with a smug little grin.

"Wha-what no I don't...I wasn't- I wasn't reading anything! As a matter of fact...I'm totally illiterate." Prompto nods. "Yup. Can't read at all. It's a tragic tale about the failures of the public school system I guess," he says, finishing with a casual shrug.

The book slides out from under his shirt and plops to the floor.

Ardyn blinks once, slow and complacent.

"I see. Well whatever smutty nonsense you've stumbled upon, put it in the cart if you want it."

Prompto sighs.

"Alright, go ahead and laugh. Get it out of your system," he mutters while picking up the book and tossing it in the front of the cart. Ardyn looks down at the cover, stares at it for a good thirty seconds before looking back up at Prompto then looking down at it again. "What? What is it?" Prompto frowns.

"...Oh nothing nothing at all," Ardyn says eventually, with a dismissive wave of his hand, but his lips are quirked the way they do when he's trying not to laugh, so it's definitely something. "It's just - oh of all the books, really - er, I remember when this book first came out. Lots of busybodies complaining about the hero's love interest ending up with the villain instead. Claimed it 'sent the wrong message', for the villain to be redeemed with the power of love instead of atoning through death." Ardyn rolls his eyes. "And being honest, you strike me as more of a classic science-fiction fan than a romance enthusiast."

"I am actually," Prompto admits. "It's just...I really liked this book when I was a kid. My mom bought it for me thinking it was a regular book about cat people having adventures because the edition she bought didn't have the title on the cover. I was like fourteen and it was uh...'formative', I guess you could say."

More than formative. He had spent months coming up with his own catsona (Felyxine Solaris) and drawing it in notebooks that he now wished he had burned before leaving Insomnia.

Ardyn stares at him some more.

"...How interesting," he says and he's definitely trying not to laugh now because his whole jaw trembles. Prompto huffs and changes the subject.

"Do we even have room in the car for all that stuff?" He asks, gesturing at the cart. Among the many items are board games with names Prompto's never heard of, various sets of dinnerware, three stained glass lamps, one large furcoat, and for some reason a huge wooden statue of a moogle.

"Everything in this cart is an absolute necessity," Ardyn says, completely deadpan.

"Including the moogle?"

"Especially the moogle."

Prompto shakes his head.

"Whatever, I'm gonna look for more books," he says, and wanders down to the end of the section before Ardyn can give him more shit.

It's there that he sees a note taped to the wall. Hastily scribbled in ballpoint pen on a piece of lined notebook paper:

_All Apollyon Mustela books buy one get all free ~~seriously please just take them they've been here for literal decades and they're all filled with weird shit with stupid titles there's this one called 'His Pregnant Prince' and it's seriously just preggo porn between two dudes that's it that's the plot~~_

A literal sign.

He sneaks an armful of books into the cart while Ardyn argues with a tiny old lady about who needs a cotton candy making machine probably missing half of its parts the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just assume that writing trashy romance novels is something Ardyn has spent at least 5% of his immortal life doing.
> 
> glameowstic.tumblr.com come talk to me about promdyn and other ffxv things!


	24. camping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn is not pleased with this turn of events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place in an AU of chapter 18's 'kid fic' where Ardyn begrudgingly gives into Prompto's demands and they spend the night in a definitely real actual haven that is totally real and not an illusion haha don't look too close at the markings please

"We could've made it to the hospital," Ardyn sulks, jabbing at the campfire with a stick. He isn't even stoking it, just prodding out of petulance.

Prompto shakes his head.

"Dude you obviously have never had an Iron Giant try to smush your car in the middle of the night."

Or worse, a red one.

They sit in mostly relative silence, with Ardyn grumbling here and there about the wind and various nighttime noises, and the baby growing increasingly fussy. Prompto can't figure out what's wrong, she hasn't messed the cloth diaper they found her in yet, he's fed and cuddled her, but still she whines and whimpers.

"Come on sweet girl," Prompto coos, walking round and round the limits of the haven, bouncing her gently with each step, trying to ignore the high pitched wailing seemingly drilling a hole into his skull. "Please - Ardyn I swear if you put one of these in me I'll cut your fucking nuts off - please calm down, just a little bit."

"I am almost certainly sterile," Ardyn replies. "Try holding her over your shoulder, it'll help if she's gassy."

Prompto does as instructed and after a little bit it seems to work, the baby's cries dwindling down from ear-piercing screeches to grumpy little sobs.

"Oh thank god," Prompto sighs.

"You're welcome."

Prompto rolls his eyes. Then shivers because the last little glimpses of sunlight have disappeared and it's **cold** out.

His first instinct is to scooch closer to the fire but the pop and hiss of wood makes him jump and his mind races through a bunch of scenarios where the baby - through his careless negligence - ends up being horribly burned and it's all his fault and he should've know better anyone would've known better. So instead he scoots over to huddle up against Ardyn (and more importantly that big warm coat of his.

For a few brief moments Ardyn is freezing, body cool and unnaturally still. Before he can say anything like _holy fuck are you actually undead only corpses are that cold_ Ardyn shifts and pulls Prompto in closer, his body warm and inviting like a normal human being's would be.

He's just imagining things again. That's all.

"You know you would probably be warmer if you wore garments with sleeves on them," Ardyn idly comments while rubbing his hands up and down Prompto's arms.

"Yeah but then everybody would be missing out on the gun show." Prompto points out.

Ardyn makes a little 'hmm' noise in agreement. Then looks up at the sky and sighs. 

"It appears the forecast is no longer in our favor."

Prompto looks up too. The once clear sky is filled with clouds now, and a low rumble of thunder is all the warning they get before a light drizzle starts to fall from them.

"Aw man, I told you we should have bought camping supplies," Prompto groans. He lifts his shirt up to tuck the baby under and hold her to his chest, a development she seems to not like in the slightest and voices this displeasure by wailing at his boobs.

"Camping is for the less fortunate," is all Ardyn says. He takes off his coat and drapes it around Prompto's shoulders, lifting the hood up. "Mankind did not make such great advances in infrastructure and housing to voluntarily subject itself to nature's worst."

He slaps a hand against his neck, crushing a mosquito that in Prompto's opinion, seemed to be almost hovering close to Ardyn's skin as if confused about whether or not there was anything to drink there.

"I'm also not terribly fond of these creatures."

Prompto nods. "Bugs are icky."

One time he found a silverfish in his sleeping bag and only knew about it after he had zipped himself up inside.

Ardyn gets a weird gleam in his eye.

"My dear, you have no idea."


	25. surprise kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn gives Prompto a gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place directly after Chapter 23's 'romance titles'
> 
> Also if it wasn't obvious by now, we have gone full tentacle

They get back to the hotel and Prompto sifts through the heaps of junk Ardyn insisted he needed.

"Okay you gotta explain to me why the hell you need so many silk plants and marbles," Prompto says while rummaging through the biggest box.

He stops when he sees a camera nestled in the corner.

It's an old Lokton DSLR, probably ten or fifteen years old depending on if it's the LT-10 or LT-20, the lettering is too faded and scratched up to tell. It works too, the screen flickers a few times but it comes to life when Prompto turns it on.

"Yes I saw that on the shelf next to the moogle and thought you might like it since yours was lost to the depths of that ghastly swamp," Ardyn says, preoccupied with what looks like an old map of Eos. "I asked the clerk and he assured me it is fully functional. You know, I remember a time when those things were considered to be the work of dark magic-"

Prompto walks over to where Ardyn's sitting on the bed and without really thinking about what he's doing, tugs the map out of his hands and delicately rolls it back up.

Ardyn sighs. "Darling I need that if I'm going to find the rest of my belong-"

And grabs Ardyn by the front of his coat to yank him close and kiss him, runs his fingers through Ardyn's hair to keep him in place.

"-ings," Ardyn finishes when Prompto lets him go.

"Thank you thank you thank you so much!" He squeals and kisses Ardyn again, this time on the cheek. "Seriously dude, thank you."

"Yes well..." Ardyn trails off with a dazed far-away look on face, absently touching his fingers to his bottom lip. Prompto immediately sneaks a quick picture of it. "It was but a trivial matter."

"No way, you didn't have to to do that for me but you did and I'm so grateful for it, you don't even know." Prompto nods. "I'm gonna go down to the lobby and ask the receptionist if there are any good photo ops around. Or like a supply shop or something!"

"I...but you just...yes," Ardyn answers faintly and hands over his wallet. "You do that. I'll just...hm."

Prompto kisses him once more, quick and excited before racing out of the room and heading down to the lobby.

He'll have to do something really nice for Ardyn now. Something special that he'd really enjoy.

* * *

_Nemyx sneered at the fiendish sorcerer, carefully traced just the very tips of his claws down the other man's chest, reddened welts rising up in their aftermath._

_"I'm starting to think you're enjoying all of this," he said, tugging at the writhing magical restraints that kept Adaranth kneeling before him, bound and at his mercy. "That all of this nonsense, stealing me away from Prince Desipio, forcing me into heat, all of it was a pretense for this. To get someone to punish you, Lord Adaranth. Force you to atone for all your transgressions, your...what was the word you used? Sins?"_

_Nemyx bent down to nuzzle his face against Adaranth's._

_"Such a bad, bad man you are," Nemyx sighed as he ran his fingers through the other man's ebony locks, cradled his head against the subtle soft swell of his chest. "Thinking you can manipulate me into giving you what you want? But I'm not going to give you what you want-"_

_"How dare you-" Adaranth began, and oh how Nemyx relished the tremor in his voice. The faintest beginnings of his inevitable unraveling._

_With a little moan of encouragement, Nemyx gently guided Adaranth in latching onto a pert, pink nipple._

_"I'm going to give you what you need_ \- oh fuck that's actually really hot, I did not properly appreciate this scene as a kid, that is some _nice_ jaded wizard on lactating catboy action," Prompto says, pinching at his own nipples with his free hand. He drops the book in the process, ignoring the disappointed noise Ardyn makes since sitting on his face without smothering him for real is the higher priority and Prompto can only do so many things at once.

He wiggles his hips, partly to keep his legs from falling asleep, and also partly to stuff his tentacles deeper in Ardyn's mouth.

"God this position is just hell on the knees, huh? And no offense but your stubble is really starting to chafe-ooh," he whimpers and immediately stops complaining because Ardyn fits two fingers into his slit, starts playing with the sensitive internal tendrils and ridges there while Prompto grinds back and forth into the dual stimulation until he comes again, shuddering another load down Ardyn's throat.

Another grunt from Ardyn, this one pure impatience.

Prompto rolls his eyes. "Yeah yeah, I'm getting to the 'good part.'" He adjusts his position on Ardyn's face, then picks the book back up and flips through it to find where he last left off.

" _A few moments of_ -ah ah, I don't think so." Prompto squeezes Ardyn's head with his thighs because the sneaky bastard has nerve go to try and touch his cock. "Dude, don't blow your load now, that's going up my ass later, remember? You promised."

Ardyn frowns, petulant and defiant about it. Reaches down again, his eyes locked onto Prompto's. Daring him to do something about it. Prompto leans back and slaps one of Ardyn's thighs, one big smack close enough to his groin to get the threat across and hard enough that there'll be a nice throbbing red handprint long after they're done.

"I said **behave.** Now, where was I. Oh right-" Prompto clears his throat, shimmies his hips against the vibrations of Ardyn's renewed moans and continues. " _A few moments of fitful struggle were all Adaranth could manage before his baser urges overwhelmed him, rendered him lax and docile as he accepted the sweet, warm nourishment and attention he wanted so desperately, that Nemyx was more than willing to give..."_

* * *

"Sorcerer," Ardyn says when they're finished, fucked out and sore from each other's attentions (and dicks).

"Huh?" Prompto grunts out.

Ardyn exhales hard, deep and dramatic through his nostrils the way he does when he's bothered by something small and petty. "You referred to Adaranth as a wizard when he is in fact, a sorcerer. And jaded is hardly the term for how a man feels when he's been betrayed so thoroughly, wronged in such devastating-"

Kissing Ardyn should probably be more of a big deal than Prompto treats it. But oddly enough, it doesn't feel like it.

"I suppose this is what you're going to do any time you want me distracted?" Ardyn murmurs when Prompto pulls away.

Prompto blinks. Then gives Ardyn his biggest, brightest smile. "Uh-huh...yep yeah. That's what I'm gonna do."

For as long as he can get away with it.


End file.
